Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

sumbum95

Search for a member

sumbum95
  • Town/Country : SouthernCa, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 861
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About sumbum95 : What's up, buttercup? :)

sumbum95's last visitors

JaguarGuyryan0712lukeyhoward79236winston_salemajax_united33Got_Game

sumbum95's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of sumbum95's badges

sumbum95's favorite FMLs

Today, I flew back home from out of state. When I got back to my house, my bed, furniture, and TV were gone. My girlfriend changed her number and I have no idea where she lives now. FML

#20153491
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18039) - you deserved it (1231)

On 11/07/2012 at 1:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

#20153273
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15889) - you deserved it (1688)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I paid a locksmith $100 after I locked myself out of my apartment. All he did was hit it, and it flung open. It wasn't locked, it'd just got stuck. FML

#20153207
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6673) - you deserved it (12162)

On 11/07/2012 at 10:00am - money - by stuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML

#20152648
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10067) - you deserved it (14486)

On 11/07/2012 at 2:31am - misc - by no cake for me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

#20152323
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21980) - you deserved it (1250)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States

Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML

#20152272
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16497) - you deserved it (2946)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13970) - you deserved it (4415)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML

#20151103
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15615) - you deserved it (935)

On 11/06/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by rastamerican - United States (California)

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

#20150831
487 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13584) - you deserved it (28858)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

Today, I told my family that I wanted to change my last name to my future wife's. We want to have the same last name, and we chose hers because she is an only child, while I have three brothers. Half of my family is laughing and calling me "pussy whipped" while the other half won't speak to me. FML

#20150778
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17914) - you deserved it (10771)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:03pm - love - by new name (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15844) - you deserved it (1635)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML

#20150517
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (2001)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML

#20150513
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14272) - you deserved it (887)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML

#20150477
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26636) - you deserved it (2259)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by sadness1992 - United States (California)

Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML

#20150093
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14791) - you deserved it (1807)

On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: