About sumbum95 : What's up, buttercup? :)
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63738) - you deserved it (3906)
On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49701) - you deserved it (13503)
On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53529) - you deserved it (11086)
On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)
Today, I was visiting my new in-laws for the first time. During an awkward silence, I took my phone and figured I'd send my friend a text jokingly saying "Mayday, mayday! Somebody save me!" My mood lightened up a little and I felt quite well until my mother-in-law's phone beeped. Yep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20212) - you deserved it (39377)
On 05/28/2013 at 7:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, I got to wash my ex-wife's dishes at her apartment while her new boyfriend played with my daughter in the living room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46755) - you deserved it (9606)
On 05/27/2013 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40138) - you deserved it (4558)
On 05/27/2013 at 7:10pm - love - by mustache girl - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40678) - you deserved it (2169)
On 05/26/2013 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by MsAnonymous17 (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35078) - you deserved it (5356)
On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17747) - you deserved it (31972)
On 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by paper towel virgin - United States (Missouri)
Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10450) - you deserved it (90367)
On 05/23/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by faitoh - United Kingdom (Lisburn)
Today, I was ditched by the guy I flew over two thousand miles to see. His excuse? "I'm just tired. I want to go home and sleep" Later, he checked in at a bar right down the street from the hotel on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35313) - you deserved it (4228)
On 05/23/2013 at 3:13am - love - by phoenixditch - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41425) - you deserved it (2477)
On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)
Today, a friend was put on suicide watch when her parents wouldn't pay $500 for a premium senior picture package. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29853) - you deserved it (3287)
On 05/22/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by AwkwardHaole808 - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37587) - you deserved it (2157)
On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, and throughout the past week, my electricity, water, cable, and Internet were progressively shut off. Why? Because my deranged mother-in-law has been stealing the money orders I use to pay my bills out of my mailbox. She also stole the late notices because she didn't want me to be "mad". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40864) - you deserved it (2355)
On 05/21/2013 at 6:47pm - money - by LightsOut - United States (Florida)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
