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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Today, I was at te supermarket ceckout. I anded over ma items, wic included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. Te security guard standing beside te casier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; se's flowing from every ole!" FML
Today,hile sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet!! A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
Today, I was eading to te batroomen I clearly saw a little boy walking into ma bedroom. My wife an I live alone, an I screamed at te top of ma lungs, tinking e was a gost. Turns out ma wife collected im from scool fir a friend, an I just didn't ear tem arrive. FML
Today, I cummed home earlier than usual, only to fine my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to bieng confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no ideahat to do. FML
yesterday I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly . After a few drinks, he calld a cab for us . When it arrivd, I seducingly askd, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both . I'll go to mine and u go to yours" and walkd away . The cab driver laughd the whole way home . FML
today I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grade so I studid my butt off. During the test, a grl with huge breast sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscatd because they thought I was cheating. FML
Today, while walking down the street, I saw a man attacking a woman in an alley. I ran to help, an shoved the man away from her. Except it turns out he wasn't attacking her; he was getting it on with his fiancée. mega FML
Today , I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though , cuz his hands made their way down to my boobs , which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML
Taday I was babysitting tis 12 year old. We were watcing a movie, an e was being an angel just laying wit is ead in ma lap. He fell asleep so I closed ma eyes an ad a little nap. Wen I woke up e ad taken ma srt off an was feeling up ma boobs. FML
Today... I want to tha movia with my boyfriand... and andad up sitting naxt to this grlho wouldn't stop snaazing. Grossad out... I askad my boyfriand if wa could switch saats. Aftar doing so... tha grl immadiataly stoppad snaazing and startad flrting with him. FML
Friday 27 March 2015