suffokateslowly

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suffokateslowly

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 9 January 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 801
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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suffokateslowly's page activity

Visits<b>idefka</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 12:10pm<b>utrax</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 12:50am<b>iSOLO</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 9:57pm<b>AnalAssassin1</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 1:55am<b>GingerM101</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 6:55pm<b>alex602</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 12:27am<b>hotbutthurttoast</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 11:29pm<b>McFuzzyMan</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 5:41pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 8:14pm<b>malheartsnutmeg</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 10:13pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 12:30pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:52pm<b>iBou</b> - the 03/11/2011 at 11:25am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 9:50am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 11/15/2010 at 9:12am<b>PhantomJen</b> - the 08/24/2010 at 4:21am<b>Livexx4xxLove</b> - the 04/19/2010 at 12:31am

suffokateslowly's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

suffokateslowly's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2010 at 7:24am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Health

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

by Hayley / 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

by Hayley / 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 2:37am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my Dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell was. She then informed me that our Dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

by shroomda / 06/29/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my Dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell was. She then informed me that our Dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

by shroomda / 06/29/2009 at 3:29am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, while arriving at my best friend's wedding, I accidentally ran over her 2 dogs. FML

by lfssecond / 05/30/2009 at 2:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Animals

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML

by TheJoker / 05/12/2009 at 1:25am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I called a potential employer. I left a message asking him to return my call. When he did, my drunk friend answered my phone with "I make a sexy-time with my mother in-law." I called him back twice immediately to explain. No answer. That was my last hope for a decent job. FML

by sasd32 / 03/06/2009 at 2:51pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

by wideman / 02/28/2009 at 2:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous