[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

suffokateslowly

Search for a member

suffokateslowly

This member hasn't filled in the description.

suffokateslowly's last visitors

FreezeZebrasofa13RedPillSucks

suffokateslowly's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

suffokateslowly's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

#12960697 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (20757) - you deserved it (1913)

On 09/08/2010 at 7:24am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

#7268268 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (16400) - you deserved it (2836)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm - misc - by Hayley (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

#6528264 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (20281) - you deserved it (9562)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called my Dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell was. She then informed me that our Dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

#3332242 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (41765) - you deserved it (1968)

On 06/29/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by shroomda (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

#2799622 (1288)

I agree, your life sucks (32865) - you deserved it (488576)

On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142 (288)

I agree, your life sucks (70750) - you deserved it (14824)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293 (342)

I agree, your life sucks (22529) - you deserved it (54594)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while arriving at my best friend's wedding, I accidentally ran over her 2 dogs. FML

#2433672 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (43559) - you deserved it (15938)

On 05/30/2009 at 2:04pm - animals - by lfssecond - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped grabbed the ball for the kid and started to hand it to him. He then yelled "Stranger Danger" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30mins. FML

#1864532 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (48043) - you deserved it (1872)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by TheJoker (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I called a potential employer. I left a message asking him to return my call. When he did, my drunk friend answered my phone with "I make a sexy-time with my mother in-law." I called him back twice immediately to explain. No answer. That was my last hope for a decent job. FML

#226601 (53)

I agree, your life sucks (36814) - you deserved it (6650)

On 03/06/2009 at 2:51pm - intimacy - by sasd32 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I was at church and saw a blind teenager who obviously felt lost. Feeling like I should help I went over and asked if he needed anything. He said, "I can't find my caretaker." I asked, "What does she look like?" FML

#159157 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (10775) - you deserved it (49286)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by wideman (man) - United States (California)



Your account

Sign up - Password?
→ Illustrated FMLs
→ The blog
+ FML, the follow-up
↓ Categories

FML's blog

05/15/2012

The whole blog

Switch to FML for visually impaired

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2012 by