sue827

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Offline (the 07/25/2016 at 4:20am)

sue827

13Fucked!

sue827sue827
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1265
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About sue827 : I like books 👓📚

sue827's page activity

Visits<b>OmgitsJay</b> - yesterday at 12:45am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 11:46am<b>rafa015</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 6:48am<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 3:41pm<b>brentt2711</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 8:42am<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 1:54am<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 10:27pm<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 1:23am<b>RA91</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 8:38pm<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 2:41am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 6:19am<b>lukian</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 4:23am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 7:32pm<b>moron011</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 4:37pm<b>lola4455</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 9:19pm<b>Zee_Mills</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 4:32pm<b>StonerSongbird</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 7:24am<b>Enderkate4</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 12:38am

Fucked!<b>rafa015</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 12:48pm<b>RA91</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 2:38am<b>moron011</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 10:37pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 3:37pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 5:08pm<b>lukian</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 3:36am<b>c_wyld</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 8:56am<b>Cayers97</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 2:40pm<b>FiendHunter</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 3:14am<b>OmgitsJay</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 11:32pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 7:59am<b>Shayaan</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 4:12am<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 12:09am

sue827's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of sue827's badges

sue827's favorite FMLs

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

by Anonymous / 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm / Zimbabwe / Health

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2013 at 11:16am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

by foreveralone / 06/23/2013 at 10:42am / United States / Love

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

by fuck you dad / 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm / Ireland (Monaghan) / Miscellaneous

Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML

by RosesAreRed / 02/15/2013 at 1:07am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, after a week of intense fighting, my girlfriend of 4 years and I hung out. She told me she loved me, and I pointed out that last week she said she was going to dump me. Without missing a beat, she replied, "Only to scare you into submission." FML

by thanksbabe / 01/12/2013 at 1:32am / United States / Love

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

by -___- / 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste any time pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2012 at 4:02pm / Ukraine (Kyyiv) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML

by Major3 / 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy