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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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sue

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sue
  • Town/Country : Chicago
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12020
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML

#6286266 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (13084) - you deserved it (8399)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I found out that my boss plays a trick on all the interns. He calls you to his office, then leaves you waiting outside until you get annoyed and leave. Apparently, the old record was 45mins. I waited 4 hours. FML

#5276365 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (34442) - you deserved it (7653)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:32pm - work - by stillwaiting (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

#4305194 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (5330) - you deserved it (55601)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friend and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML

#4215163 (138)

I agree, your life sucks (48733) - you deserved it (2424)

On 08/01/2009 at 9:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

#4053619 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (16747) - you deserved it (39910)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went swimming with this guy I like at dammed river. While we were jumping off the dam, I decided to try to impress him by doing a front flip. I didn't jump far enough off, so when I went to flip, my face skidded down the concrete wall. FML

#3486343 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (24500) - you deserved it (28222)

On 07/04/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was getting off of work, talking to my boss and I asked if I could get a ride home, since my usual ride was too lazy to come get me. He said, sure, but to be really careful since he just had his car detailed. I was getting in the car, tripped and threw my hot cocoa all inside of his car. FML

#2304527 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (35866) - you deserved it (13049)

On 05/26/2009 at 8:18am - work - by Leo_RxXx (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick (not unusual we do a lot of drag). While I'm applying it he starts to make gross noises and after a quick glance I realize he has a massive erection. He then whispers mmmm don't stop now. FML

#1745966 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (63470) - you deserved it (2591)

On 05/08/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML

#1693218 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (59752) - you deserved it (3230)

On 05/06/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701 (345)

I agree, your life sucks (17622) - you deserved it (61521)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

#1224721 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (21034) - you deserved it (41762)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by fartmaster (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

#820879 (352)

I agree, your life sucks (10411) - you deserved it (162133)

On 04/05/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by funnyguyNOT (man) - United States

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

#650213 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (8063) - you deserved it (89128)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348 (832)

I agree, your life sucks (32053) - you deserved it (381690)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707 (240)

I agree, your life sucks (30885) - you deserved it (135592)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)