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suckstosuck35's FML badges
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suckstosuck35's favorite FMLs
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my gran came over for dinner, for which I had to go grab some supplies from the supermarket. I guess I should have locked my laptop, because when I came back, I found my gran had used my Facebook account to propose to my now-ecstatic girlfriend. FML
by my gran is a cuntwaffle / 09/26/2013 at 4:36pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML
by horriblefashionsense / 09/26/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/25/2013 at 6:37am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by saraitkddh / 09/24/2013 at 1:51pm / Lebanon / Miscellaneous
by theynamedmeluke / 09/23/2013 at 6:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML
by chestycough / 09/16/2013 at 12:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting for my husband. After a while, I feel him kissing my neck, so I turn to tell him that it's not appropriate in public. It wasn't my husband. FML
by whyme / 09/12/2013 at 10:44am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by spiritbeast33 / 09/11/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by vrossie_ / 09/08/2013 at 1:56am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/07/2013 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML
by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, my husband was using the microwave when we suddenly hear a huge 'POP'... The good news is we… Today, I had my graduation ceremony. As a distinguished grad, I was called on stage 12/650 people.… Today, i bought two $2 scratch off lotto tickets for my friend and i, he won $500 i won nothing. FML
- Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, while on holiday in Morocco, I got arrested by a cop. “Sir, you were driving at 90 instead…