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suckmysarcasm

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suckmysarcasm

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 July 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3600
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About suckmysarcasm : hi. i like music, anime, art, and horror movies message me if u want to know more.

suckmysarcasm's page activity

Visits<b>derpina15</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:35pm<b>dancer_15234</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 7:55pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 12:13pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 10:47pm<b>Eire17</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 12:26am<b>princessSLPS16</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 6:31am<b>pretty_in_pink94</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 10:20am<b>420ganjaQueen</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 2:19pm<b>Offspring</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 12:21pm<b>hayhay2301</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 4:21pm<b>bReLiNg</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 12:51pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 12:48am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 3:54pm<b>GlobalElephant</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 12:17am<b>bps315</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 3:21pm<b>haycassidy</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 6:31pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 12:54pm<b>Mrnice</b> - the 11/17/2012 at 11:45pm

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suckmysarcasm's favorite FMLs

Today, I went for coffee with some people from work. I lined up to order behind a guy I'd only met a few times. When he paid, he dropped his wallet, and I saw that he had a picture of me cut from the company newsletter, enlarged, and taped inside his wallet. FML

#6162921
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35921) - you deserved it (3521)

On 11/05/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by CreepyPaperDoll (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

#5579275
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9141) - you deserved it (37670)

On 10/01/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML

#5345051
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35378) - you deserved it (33912)

On 09/19/2009 at 1:22am - love - by Pierceew (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

#5276065
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61560) - you deserved it (3537)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32840) - you deserved it (7364)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I decided I would finally get up and weed our front yard. After a long couple of hours, I was hot and sweaty and decided to jump in the pool, with all my clothes on, just for fun. Right as I was in the air doing a cannon ball, my BlackBerry started to ring from my pocket... FML

#5105234
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14003) - you deserved it (51314)

On 09/07/2009 at 1:32pm - money - by ByeByeBlackberry (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40517) - you deserved it (2778)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

#4921754
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42065) - you deserved it (8388)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62483) - you deserved it (15869)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112615) - you deserved it (8478)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn't realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said "I love you. I want you to have my child." It had been our second date. FML

#4408300
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64030) - you deserved it (34297)

On 08/09/2009 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by SoniaLovesYou - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

#4384243
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47848) - you deserved it (5293)

On 08/08/2009 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by pear8head (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was having sex with my husband. As I was undressing, he said, "Arr, I spy me some booty!" I let it go, I'm used to his embarassing pirate talk. But as he orgasmed, he screamed, "I'VE FOUND THE BURIED TREASURE!" My neighbors heard in the apartment next door and called to let me know. FML

#4361327
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49532) - you deserved it (6431)

On 08/07/2009 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by piratequeen (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

#4342060
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61265) - you deserved it (7547)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said "You got me wet" Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said" He replied "No really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML

#4320217
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16157) - you deserved it (36336)

On 08/05/2009 at 10:23pm - misc - by drooler (woman) - United States (New York)



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