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suckmysarcasm

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 July 1989 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3501
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About suckmysarcasm : hi. i like music, anime, art, and horror movies message me if u want to know more.

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suckmysarcasm's favorite FMLs

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

#14305984
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40023) - you deserved it (8571)

On 12/23/2010 at 1:36am - intimacy - by nemo518 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML

#14161331
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26419) - you deserved it (19050)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:00am - intimacy - by caligirl921 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. When I orgasmed, my leg flew out and I accidentally kicked him in the balls. For the next ten minutes, he lay in the fetal position. FML

#14161331
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26419) - you deserved it (19050)

On 12/11/2010 at 1:00am - intimacy - by caligirl921 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML

#13756412
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20119) - you deserved it (58936)

On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML

#13715674
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34347) - you deserved it (2433)

On 11/04/2010 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by traumatized4life (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55900) - you deserved it (12074)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got into a car accident. While getting my things out of the car to bring into the tow truck, I noticed the handcuffs from my Halloween costume were still in the trunk. The tow truck driver noticed before I did, because he smiled, winked, and asked if I needed any more help. FML

#13665915
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20984) - you deserved it (4720)

On 10/31/2010 at 5:27pm - intimacy - by jo1429 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to do something that many young technologically-savvy people fear. I had to get on my dad's Facebook for him to delete a rather scandalous photo of his genitals he accidentally uploaded. FML

#12955617
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35907) - you deserved it (2884)

On 09/07/2010 at 10:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to do something that many young technologically-savvy people fear. I had to get on my dad's Facebook for him to delete a rather scandalous photo of his genitals he accidentally uploaded. FML

#12955617
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35907) - you deserved it (2884)

On 09/07/2010 at 10:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

#8875479
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23549) - you deserved it (3936)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873
412 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105677) - you deserved it (12407)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

#6553131
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44433) - you deserved it (7539)

On 12/01/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by xXxJoe16xXx - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called it down. It came running down the stairs. With a used condom in its mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It put it directly in my mom's hands. FML

#6356025
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17769) - you deserved it (7461)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:35pm - intimacy - by Tucker (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58869) - you deserved it (3600)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML

#6248749
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6213) - you deserved it (53192)

On 11/10/2009 at 8:52pm - intimacy - by prayforme (man) - United States (Georgia)



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