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suckmysarcasm
  • Town/Country : knoxville, united states
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 July 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 3273
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About suckmysarcasm : hi. i like music, anime, art, and horror movies message me if u want to know more.

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Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML

#15015592
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9768) - you deserved it (29244)

On 02/17/2011 at 12:29pm - misc - by Whatever479 - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

#15002281
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40592) - you deserved it (5119)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

#14991299
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28150) - you deserved it (2826)

On 02/15/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by bitchasaurusrex (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML

#14881975
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49298) - you deserved it (6885)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML

#14805791
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27813) - you deserved it (3876)

On 02/02/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43269) - you deserved it (7642)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. Afterwards, she informed me I would look a lot hotter if I smiled more. FML

#14755062
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29034) - you deserved it (7939)

On 01/29/2011 at 7:41am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at my boyfriends place, I thought I would be nice by folding his laundry and putting it away since he was working late. I opened his sock drawer and sitting on top was a photo of his mother, naked. FML

#14753081
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50015) - you deserved it (4094)

On 01/29/2011 at 1:55am - intimacy - by FamilySecret - United States

Today, my parents, not trusting me and my boyfriend, told us to call them in the middle of our movie so they could hear it, and prove we weren't up to no good. Well, I called. Just as a raging sex scene started. FML

#14709189
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30261) - you deserved it (10639)

On 01/25/2011 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by totallyscrewedomg - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

#14647585
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26293) - you deserved it (8826)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by saddened97 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML

#14618651
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26973) - you deserved it (4294)

On 01/17/2011 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML

#14604817
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36570) - you deserved it (4957)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML

#14597808
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24125) - you deserved it (5295)

On 01/16/2011 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

#14567301
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23481) - you deserved it (4185)

On 01/13/2011 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Lebanon

Today, I had a panic attack because my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to choke me in the middle of sex. FML

#14526160
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34425) - you deserved it (5149)

On 01/09/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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