About suckmysarcasm : hi. i like music, anime, art, and horror movies message me if u want to know more.
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suckmysarcasm's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend asking if I'd Skype with him. Thinking he'd find my tousled bed hair and big t-shirt sexy, I went on. The first thing he noticed was the massive booger on my face that stretched from my nose to the other side of my cheek. FML
by Whatever479 / 02/17/2011 at 12:29pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Health
by Lovenem / 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML
by bitchasaurusrex / 02/15/2011 at 4:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anon. / 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm / United Kingdom (Bradford) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 02/02/2011 at 12:17am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
by anon / 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 01/29/2011 at 7:41am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, while at my boyfriends place, I thought I would be nice by folding his laundry and putting it away since he was working late. I opened his sock drawer and sitting on top was a photo of his mother, naked. FML
by FamilySecret / 01/29/2011 at 1:55am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my parents, not trusting me and my boyfriend, told us to call them in the middle of our movie so they could hear it, and prove we weren't up to no good. Well, I called. Just as a raging sex scene started. FML
by totallyscrewedomg / 01/25/2011 at 12:11pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by saddened97 / 01/20/2011 at 4:39am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/17/2011 at 9:13pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. We are both virgins. After we kissed and I took down my pants, she screamed and said "That THING is going to break me." We never did it. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 8:28pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 2:49am / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/13/2011 at 4:10pm / Lebanon / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/09/2011 at 10:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
- Today, I went to the gym. Only I wasn't training, I was sitting in my car in the parking enjoying… Today, is my first day of recovery in a full right arm cast. Broke it on the last possible free day… Today, my father-in-law and husband decided it would be a great idea for the three of us to share a…