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suckmysarcasm

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 July 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3869
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About suckmysarcasm : hi. i like music, anime, art, and horror movies message me if u want to know more.

suckmysarcasm's page activity

Visits<b>jtlf1346</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:00pm<b>derpina15</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:35pm<b>dancer_15234</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 7:55pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 12:13pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 10:47pm<b>Eire17</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 12:26am<b>princessSLPS16</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 6:31am<b>pretty_in_pink94</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 10:20am<b>420ganjaQueen</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 2:19pm<b>Offspring</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 12:21pm<b>hayhay2301</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 4:21pm<b>bReLiNg</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 12:51pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 12:48am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 3:54pm<b>GlobalElephant</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 12:17am<b>bps315</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 3:21pm<b>haycassidy</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 6:31pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 12:54pm

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suckmysarcasm's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to people in the parking lot screaming "everybody wake up". They've been doing this at 7 every morning since I moved in 3 months ago. FML

#18014606
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26095) - you deserved it (2683)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:10am - misc - by Tony - United States

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

#18014569
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42236) - you deserved it (8549)

On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)

Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

#18014393
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50056) - you deserved it (4554)

On 10/18/2011 at 10:16am - health - by stdpositivenow (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. While he was dumping me, he was holding hands with his new girlfriend. FML

#18011965
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37805) - you deserved it (2649)

On 10/18/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

#18003683
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33917) - you deserved it (2397)

On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

#17984134
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29282) - you deserved it (5985)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)

Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

#17981728
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32260) - you deserved it (2073)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:09am - health - by Nixontones - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

#17974807
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49280) - you deserved it (5590)

On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33949) - you deserved it (9278)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34525) - you deserved it (24626)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

#17884041
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33274) - you deserved it (4538)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:05am - intimacy - by therevsev - United States

Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML

#17829441
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30337) - you deserved it (4581)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:15pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

#17823429
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52830) - you deserved it (2664)

On 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found out that my stalker ex-girlfriend named her new born son after me. FML

#17794900
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35523) - you deserved it (3205)

On 09/21/2011 at 10:44am - love - by cjy152 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85411) - you deserved it (13098)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)



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