Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 July 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5672
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About suckmysarcasm : hi. i like music, anime, art, and horror movies message me if u want to know more.

suckmysarcasm's page activity

Visits<b>Chibster</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 5:12pm<b>alex_gen</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 7:48am<b>pandachuk</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 4:10am<b>justinccp</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 11:35pm<b>jtlf1346</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:00pm<b>derpina15</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:35pm<b>dancer_15234</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 7:55pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 12:13pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 10:47pm<b>Eire17</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 12:26am<b>princessSLPS16</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 6:31am<b>pretty_in_pink94</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 10:20am<b>420ganjaQueen</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 2:19pm<b>Offspring</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 12:21pm<b>hayhay2301</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 4:21pm<b>bReLiNg</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 12:51pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 12:48am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 3:54pm

suckmysarcasm's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of suckmysarcasm's badges

suckmysarcasm's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to people in the parking lot screaming "everybody wake up". They've been doing this at 7 every morning since I moved in 3 months ago. FML

by Tony / 10/18/2011 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

by imy / 10/18/2011 at 11:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

by stdpositivenow / 10/18/2011 at 10:16am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. While he was dumping me, he was holding hands with his new girlfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 12:02am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

by blarp / 10/17/2011 at 12:20am / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

by myasshurts / 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

by Nixontones / 10/14/2011 at 11:09am / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

by scewable / 10/13/2011 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that it has been so long since my wife and I were intimate that I got slightly turned on watching her suck the meat off chicken wings. I'm jealous of fried, sauce-soaked poultry. FML

by therevsev / 10/02/2011 at 2:05am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend, the girl I completely love, is now dating my father. She tried giving me the "I know I'm not your mother..." speech. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2011 at 7:01pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I found out that my stalker ex-girlfriend named her new born son after me. FML

by cjy152 / 09/21/2011 at 10:44am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy