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Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16999) - you deserved it (2909)
On 03/27/2012 at 9:08pm - health - by Anna - United States
Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22153) - you deserved it (2428)
On 03/25/2012 at 11:05pm - intimacy - by user210 (woman) - United States
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30265) - you deserved it (8665)
On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25486) - you deserved it (4297)
On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10582) - you deserved it (35210)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found the list my wife made of the things she was going to give up for Lent. The first one was "Sex with other men". FML
I agree, your life sucks (31725) - you deserved it (2117)
On 02/25/2012 at 9:35am - intimacy - by fmylifebigtime - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my husband and I worked together on a very difficult yard project. Afterwards, I thanked him and offered him a special treat. He was disappointed to find I meant sex, not cookies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23516) - you deserved it (3792)
On 02/04/2012 at 2:40pm - intimacy - by me - United States (Texas)
Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21860) - you deserved it (2427)
On 11/14/2011 at 3:45am - work - by Anon - United States (Nevada)
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50106) - you deserved it (3490)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50106) - you deserved it (3490)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34764) - you deserved it (14399)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Today, my fiancé has been jumping out of closets and from around corners with a video camera, trying to catch me naked. He says he wants to post a video online so his old high school friends can "rate" me. I'm now afraid to get intimate, shower, or even change my clothes in my own home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32693) - you deserved it (3509)
On 10/19/2011 at 2:19pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43136) - you deserved it (11800)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out I have an abscess in my bellybutton which causes me extreme pain and discomfort when I sit down. I am a receptionist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19936) - you deserved it (1606)
On 10/18/2011 at 4:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42778) - you deserved it (6048)
On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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