suckmysarcasm

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suckmysarcasm

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 July 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5076
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About suckmysarcasm : hi. i like music, anime, art, and horror movies message me if u want to know more.

suckmysarcasm's page activity

Visits<b>alex_gen</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 7:48am<b>pandachuk</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 4:10am<b>justinccp</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 11:35pm<b>jtlf1346</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:00pm<b>derpina15</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:35pm<b>dancer_15234</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 7:55pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 12:13pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 10:47pm<b>Eire17</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 12:26am<b>princessSLPS16</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 6:31am<b>pretty_in_pink94</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 10:20am<b>420ganjaQueen</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 2:19pm<b>Offspring</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 12:21pm<b>hayhay2301</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 4:21pm<b>bReLiNg</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 12:51pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 12:48am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 3:54pm<b>GlobalElephant</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 12:17am

suckmysarcasm's FML badges

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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suckmysarcasm's favorite FMLs

Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML

by chchboy / 05/22/2012 at 1:05am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

by maggierose171 / 05/19/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

by Hunter101 / 05/12/2012 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

by mal / 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2012 at 7:35am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML

by coffeeshopgirl / 05/07/2012 at 8:25pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

by me / 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

by quirrus / 05/07/2012 at 5:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML

by unloved / 04/17/2012 at 10:54am / United States / Love

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

by SeeingLlamas / 04/17/2012 at 5:38am / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML

by bummed / 04/15/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML

by rescuetheduck / 04/10/2012 at 3:26pm / Finland (Eastern Finland) / Work

Today, I caught myself staring at my grandmother's cleavage. FML

by bman / 04/07/2012 at 2:41am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 1:45pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy