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suckmysarcasm

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suckmysarcasm

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 July 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3510
  • Number of comments : 75
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About suckmysarcasm : hi. i like music, anime, art, and horror movies message me if u want to know more.

suckmysarcasm's page activity

Visits<b>derpina15</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:35pm<b>dancer_15234</b> - the 03/03/2014 at 7:55pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 12:13pm<b>greyy_goooose</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 10:47pm<b>Eire17</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 12:26am<b>princessSLPS16</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 6:31am<b>pretty_in_pink94</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 10:20am<b>420ganjaQueen</b> - the 05/25/2013 at 2:19pm<b>Offspring</b> - the 04/13/2013 at 12:21pm<b>hayhay2301</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 4:21pm<b>bReLiNg</b> - the 02/03/2013 at 12:51pm<b>ICastillo</b> - the 02/01/2013 at 12:48am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/21/2013 at 3:54pm<b>GlobalElephant</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 12:17am<b>bps315</b> - the 12/31/2012 at 3:21pm<b>haycassidy</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 6:31pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 12:54pm<b>Mrnice</b> - the 11/17/2012 at 11:45pm

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suckmysarcasm's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32013) - you deserved it (4542) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML

#20465100
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34533) - you deserved it (9731)

On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

#20451178
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38940) - you deserved it (5367)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML

#20445950
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33718) - you deserved it (6883)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

#20420433
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17893) - you deserved it (49803)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45573) - you deserved it (25096)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I saw my crush at the grocery store. He saw me and started walking towards me. I got so excited that I farted when he came near. FML

#20402614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33715) - you deserved it (9123)

On 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

#20145433
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37115) - you deserved it (2946)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

#20144932
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36559) - you deserved it (5365)

On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

#20139261
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28536) - you deserved it (2763)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

#20133872
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18729) - you deserved it (2656)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13095) - you deserved it (24585)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

#19719748
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14778) - you deserved it (28151)

On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner so she could meet my parents. Over the dinner, she asked my dad what's he's been up to since he retired. He replied, "recreational gynecology, my dear" and gave her a weird wink. FML

#19716339
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30189) - you deserved it (2560)

On 06/01/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my friends switched my mom and my girlfriend's numbers in my phone. I sexted my mom. FML

#19682048
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33319) - you deserved it (9041)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:15am - intimacy - by ilovemymomma - United States (Texas)



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