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About suckmysarcasm : hi. i like music, anime, art, and horror movies message me if u want to know more.
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19665) - you deserved it (1860)
On 11/14/2011 at 3:45am - work - by Anon - United States (Nevada)
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad in her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18205) - you deserved it (1324)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31392) - you deserved it (13107)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Today, my fiancé has been jumping out of closets and from around corners with a video camera, trying to catch me naked. He says he wants to post a video online so his old high school friends can "rate" me. I'm now afraid to get intimate, shower, or even change my clothes in my own home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13127) - you deserved it (1358)
On 10/19/2011 at 2:19pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38897) - you deserved it (10566)
On 10/19/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by lolilovemyboyfriend (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out I have an abscess in my bellybutton which causes me extreme pain and discomfort when I sit down. I am a receptionist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18206) - you deserved it (1454)
On 10/18/2011 at 4:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39447) - you deserved it (5603)
On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up to people in the parking lot screaming "everybody wake up". They've been doing this at 7 every morning since I moved in 3 months ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19440) - you deserved it (1857)
On 10/18/2011 at 11:10am - misc - by Tony - United States
Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29570) - you deserved it (5505)
On 10/18/2011 at 11:01am - intimacy - by imy - United States (Texas)
Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39724) - you deserved it (3136)
On 10/18/2011 at 10:16am - health - by stdpositivenow (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. While he was dumping me, he was holding hands with his new girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12295) - you deserved it (791)
On 10/18/2011 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26022) - you deserved it (1555)
On 10/17/2011 at 12:20am - health - by blarp - United States (New Jersey)
Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he randomly sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9061) - you deserved it (1640)
On 10/14/2011 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by myasshurts - United States (Michigan)
Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9453) - you deserved it (656)
On 10/14/2011 at 11:09am - health - by Nixontones - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15939) - you deserved it (1502)
On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
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