subwaysurfers

Search for a member

Offline (the 09/14/2014 at 7:32am)

subwaysurfers

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2859
  • Number of comments : 190
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About subwaysurfers : Hello :)
So, you're on my profile. Stalking me. Watching my every move. I'm just a commenter, nothing special to see here. Run along now. Oh, and my username is the name of an app that I was playing while creating my account.
So far, my favorite commentators are:
DocBastard
NoorFML
Perdix
Have a lovely day :)

subwaysurfers's page activity

Visits<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 6:05am<b>ThatWeirdough</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 7:03pm<b>Nyleriver</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 3:50pm<b>coldasfire</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 2:46pm<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:59am<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 5:03pm<b>TheFuckGiver1230</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 11:02am<b>Princess_Ash12</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 2:59pm<b>annie917</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 2:30pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm<b>masterderp1994</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 5:37pm<b>nightwings</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 3:23pm<b>Adam5858</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 1:14pm<b>gamerkz</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 3:39pm<b>Le_Doctor</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 10:09pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 11:38am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 03/29/2014 at 12:36pm<b>Jazzy9999</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 6:01pm

subwaysurfers's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of subwaysurfers's badges

subwaysurfers's favorite FMLs

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

by jazopalchris / 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, I was quite drunk so I decided to take a piss kneeling down, so I wouldn't miss. I dropped the toilet seat on my little soldier. FML

by Cian_1 / 11/25/2013 at 6:22am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I realized my wedding ring had fallen off while doing yard work the previous day. Luckily, I only worked in a few areas, so I had high hopes of finding it. That is until a storm came through, blew half a foot of leaves all over the property, and then froze them with sleet. FML

by midnightsun1143 / 11/24/2013 at 3:32am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

by meesmees / 11/23/2013 at 5:48am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend got on one knee and started talking about how we met. Knowing what was coming, I started tearing up, absolutely sure he was going to propose. Just as I was about to say yes, he quickly stood up and yelled "HAH, JUST KIDDING". FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2013 at 7:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2013 at 9:49am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

by awkwardpaul / 11/22/2013 at 5:18am / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Love

Today, I forgot I left my tampons in a grocery bag packed with food that I put into the fridge. I realized two hours later while frantically looking for a tampon. I'm still cold down there. FML

by InsertPopcicle / 11/22/2013 at 1:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

by spooked / 11/22/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, working in a department store, I spent at least 30 minutes helping a verbally abusive elderly woman in a wheelchair find an appropriate jacket for winter. She finally asked me to retrieve one she wanted in her size. When I returned she was in deep sleep, snoring and all. FML

by Not impressed. / 11/19/2013 at 12:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I turned 30. While all my friends are getting married, furthering careers and having children, I'm still sat around being as immature as I was as a teenager. I'm going through a classic case of premature age-jaculation. I laughed for 10 minutes after coming up with that. FML

Today, after just having used the bathroom, my ring fell in the toilet. After stealthily removing it with a toothbrush, I went to go wash it in the sink. It then fell down the drain. FML

by LizGo / 11/17/2013 at 1:00am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2013 at 2:31pm / Miscellaneous