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subwaysurfers

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subwaysurfers
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 689
  • Number of comments : 190
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About subwaysurfers : Hello :)
So, you're on my profile. Stalking me. Watching my every move. I'm just a commenter, nothing special to see here. Run along now. Oh, and my username is the name of an app that I was playing while creating my account.
So far, my favorite commentators are:
DocBastard
NoorFML
Perdix
Have a lovely day :)

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subwaysurfers's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML

#21001701
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47415) - you deserved it (3271)

On 12/22/2013 at 7:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother got a new saxophone. He thought a good way to break it in was to play it in my ear. Loudly. While I was sleeping. FML

#21001557
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33469) - you deserved it (2962)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:56pm - misc - by blackcarnation - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45762) - you deserved it (6272)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46021) - you deserved it (4519)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46913) - you deserved it (12697)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML

#21000942
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37474) - you deserved it (7294)

On 12/22/2013 at 1:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

#21000521
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33350) - you deserved it (8648)

On 12/21/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

#21000124
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38172) - you deserved it (2788)

On 12/21/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by FML (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends and family said they were busy so I figured I was getting a surprise party. Nope. They all were actually busy. I spent my birthday alone. FML

#21000068
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46695) - you deserved it (3757)

On 12/21/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by 00bsg - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

#21000013
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39062) - you deserved it (10308)

On 12/21/2013 at 9:13am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home after working on a difficult case. My husband wasn't home so I hopped into bed. My feet felt something and I reached down and picked it up out of the sheets. It was lacy black thongs. I don't own black thongs. FML

#20999870
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48184) - you deserved it (2798)

On 12/21/2013 at 2:08am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49299) - you deserved it (7363)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a guy came into the small coffee shop I work at, and got angry because I wouldn't accept his Starbucks gift card as valid payment. When I told him we clearly aren't a Starbucks, he said "It's all the same shit" and ended up throwing a punch at me. FML

#20999349
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39894) - you deserved it (2506)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:48pm - work - by the customer is always a cunt (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

#20998964
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48382) - you deserved it (3890)

On 12/20/2013 at 9:51am - misc - by oh why... (woman) - United States

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37076) - you deserved it (3873)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)



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