I live in New York, but I don't paticularly like it here.
Today, I was falling asleep on my desk, my head on my fist. My elbow slipped off the edge of the desk and I punched myself, leaving a fist mark on my cheek. At school, people think my parents hit me. My parents think I'm getting bullied at school. No one believes the actual story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16702) - you totally deserved it (2658)
On 11/08/2009 at 3:44pm - misc - by bob (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, I found out that our water tank has had a dead crow rotting in it for days. I took showers and brushed my teeth with dead crow soup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21751) - you totally deserved it (1397)
On 11/05/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by aqua88 (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)
Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16448) - you totally deserved it (14125)
On 10/31/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by pathetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my parents had a fight, which is a pretty normal occurence at our house. But today, they fought over an orange. Dad is now sitting in his bedroom with the aforementioned orange. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18741) - you totally deserved it (1064)
On 10/26/2009 at 6:15am - misc - by Roida (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I told a lady that came into my clothing store that I thought her abstract looking necklace was pretty. She responded, "Oh... Thats actually a pipe that goes into my lung." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18308) - you totally deserved it (4838)
On 10/17/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by oopsjsp90 (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend's head was on my lap. I bent down to kiss him. My stomach rolls got there first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11966) - you totally deserved it (28770)
On 10/04/2009 at 5:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized that I can't shave my unibrow because I have too much acne on my forehead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35847) - you totally deserved it (5978)
On 10/01/2009 at 11:49am - health - by ugh (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had a big exam. 20 minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4608) - you totally deserved it (26255)
On 09/30/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by failfailfail - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36772) - you totally deserved it (1606)
On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30976) - you totally deserved it (4281)
On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I texted the man I'm dating, told him I was having a terrible day and asked him to say something to cheer me up. His response? "Did you know that rabbits shriek when they're killed?" I'm still having a terrible day, and now I can't stop thinking about dying, shrieking bunnies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30324) - you totally deserved it (5777)
On 07/31/2009 at 6:46pm - love - by deadbunnies (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45441) - you totally deserved it (1626)
On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my little brother texted me informing me that our father has "become a nudist" since returning home from a month-long trip abroad. I thought he was joking or exaggerating, but when I went over to say hi, the first thing I saw upon walking through the door was my dad's droopy ball sac. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37133) - you totally deserved it (2232)
On 07/24/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by mubaki (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12405) - you totally deserved it (48034)
On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, it dawned on me that I've been married for 6 months, but because of the Army I've spent only around 12 days total with my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48815) - you totally deserved it (7023)
On 07/15/2009 at 9:04pm - misc - by broooooock (man) - United States
