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sublime420's favorite FMLs
Today, I sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for half an hour. The entire time, a man I had gone on a date with and that had gotten very out of hand with, was sitting in the car next to me. I noticed, panicked, and tried to drive off, rear-ending the car in front of me. FML
by Skankeriffic / 02/19/2010 at 12:13am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
by Anonymous / 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Holidays
Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She's not actually a lesbian. She has been using our relationship to piss off her conservative parents. We've been together for over a year, and I've been in love with her for over five. FML
by heart-broken / 07/02/2009 at 9:33pm / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, I was finally going to fall asleep at a decent hour. Having insomnia, I generally get about 2 hours of sleep. Right as I'm about to fall asleep, 5 firetrucks decide to drive right in front of my house with the sirens/lights on. FML
by insomniac / 06/19/2009 at 2:41am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML
by beep_guacamole / 05/24/2009 at 5:49pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking out of the train station when an old man grabbed me. I started screaming, yelling, "HELP" like a madwoman and tried pushing him away - that's when I saw the golf cart rush past me. He was trying to push me aside from getting run over. Everyone started laughing. FML
by station / 05/05/2009 at 1:10am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Brrrb / 03/05/2009 at 12:22am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by peacock_mina19 / 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
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