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stupidretriever

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stupidretriever

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  • Number of visits : 222
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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stupidretriever's page activity

Visits<b>teejessika</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 6:43am

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stupidretriever's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

#21382942
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18143) - you deserved it (1250)

On 03/28/2015 at 11:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

#21288944
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35013) - you deserved it (2740)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

#21264930
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29137) - you deserved it (14569)

On 09/25/2014 at 2:21am - health - by skollasch - United States (California)

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

#21246563
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37592) - you deserved it (2864)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by leem (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43353) - you deserved it (27719)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35262) - you deserved it (11535)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44583) - you deserved it (7100)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML

#21187469
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53240) - you deserved it (5840)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by headdesk (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while. I swear I couldn't help it when the words "Wow, I bet you really regret that haircut." came out of my mouth. FML

#21074690
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21153) - you deserved it (39641)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

#20854994
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51783) - you deserved it (13531)

On 08/26/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

#20746882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39499) - you deserved it (5510)

On 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

#20627653
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51243) - you deserved it (6818)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53551) - you deserved it (8658)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML

#20563782
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20014) - you deserved it (54503)

On 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by not funny but :( (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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