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stupidretriever

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stupidretriever

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 536
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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stupidretriever's page activity

Visits<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:57pm<b>Schala360</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:49pm<b>Mewling_Quim</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:29am<b>teejessika</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 6:43am

stupidretriever's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of stupidretriever's badges

stupidretriever's favorite FMLs

Today, I was so inexplicably horny that I had to shuffle awkwardly and use my bag to hide the wetness of my pants as I left work for the day. FML

#21501271
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22234) - you deserved it (3165)

On 12/07/2015 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by Hormones apparently (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML

#21492006
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22283) - you deserved it (1473)

On 11/13/2015 at 7:34am - misc - by Anonymousse (man) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

#21474273
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25065) - you deserved it (8644)

On 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm - work - by horp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend thought I was going to ask him if we wanted children together. Instead of talking about it, he pretended to have a violent seizure and die. FML

#21465257
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23510) - you deserved it (2500)

On 09/06/2015 at 2:33pm - love - by tessie94 (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML

#21464495
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21146) - you deserved it (1613)

On 09/04/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by FML (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I planned on telling the girl I like that I have feelings for her. What I didn't plan on was having a panic attack and whispering "I really like you!" super creepily and immediately saying "bye" and running away in shame. FML

Today, my 82-year-old great grandfather informed me that his "peeter" still works, and that most guys his age can't say the same. FML

#21454592
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23667) - you deserved it (2039)

On 08/11/2015 at 12:20am - intimacy - by yamaha_313 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

#21443446
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29796) - you deserved it (3408)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received 46 emails from co-workers who were using reply-all to tell everyone else not to use reply-all. FML

#21413067
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24750) - you deserved it (1930)

On 05/20/2015 at 2:47pm - work - by farf -

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

#21382942
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29047) - you deserved it (2148)

On 03/28/2015 at 11:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29701) - you deserved it (3101)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

#21246563
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39963) - you deserved it (3069)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by leem (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46739) - you deserved it (29811)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48150) - you deserved it (7670)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



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