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stupidretriever

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stupidretriever

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 27
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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stupidretriever's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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stupidretriever's favorite FMLs

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

#21264930
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26463) - you deserved it (13013)

On 09/25/2014 at 2:21am - health - by skollasch - United States (California)

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

#21246563
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36715) - you deserved it (2638)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by leem (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44849) - you deserved it (6917)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44439) - you deserved it (7080)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I picked up a co-worker from the airport. As she got in the car, she looked over at me and said, "I'm still not sleeping with you". This was our second conversation. The first is when she asked if I could pick her up from the airport. FML

#21187469
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49583) - you deserved it (5417)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by headdesk (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

#20854994
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51011) - you deserved it (13319)

On 08/26/2013 at 11:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

#20627653
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50254) - you deserved it (6718)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I met my new girlfriend at her house for the very first time. And her 17 cats, whose names all begin with the letter "K", because they're all "kewl kats." FML

#20601896
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53330) - you deserved it (8643)

On 04/18/2013 at 10:37am - love - by obnum - United States

Today, my crush asked to use my phone so he could Google something. Flattered that he wanted to use my phone, I agreed. After he was done, he handed it back with a weird look. I later realized he had found himself in my top searches. FML

#20058304
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7683) - you deserved it (25416)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Gigi (woman) - United States

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30767) - you deserved it (2597)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46703) - you deserved it (3234)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my recently ex-girlfriend's mother called me regarding her baby girl, saying, "If you mess with the chicklet, you mess with the momma hen." I have no idea what the hell this means for my future, but I'm a bit scared. FML

#18181651
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29191) - you deserved it (4861)

On 11/07/2011 at 2:20am - love - by roadkill0321 - United States

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30700) - you deserved it (3950)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -

Today, my girlfriend told me that I think too much during sex. Now the only thing I can think about is how much I'm thinking too much. FML

#9572615
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25791) - you deserved it (6429)

On 04/02/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by kmang33 (man) - United States (Oklahoma)



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