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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my cat kept sneezing all morning so I took her to the vet. $150 later and the vet says she's fine. I get home and the noise starts up again. My automatic air freshener spray sounds just like my cat sneezing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11977) - you deserved it (34924)
On 05/20/2009 at 5:07am - animals - by catlover (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, me and my girlfriend were buying Subway. When it came to ring up the order the lady asked us together or separate? My girlfriend looked and said separate. Half-jokingly, I asked if it was some sort of hint? She looked at me and said yes. I got broken up over a 12 inch ham sub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47576) - you deserved it (2840)
On 05/20/2009 at 1:37am - love - by Richie (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13622) - you deserved it (66148)
On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because "She wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55238) - you deserved it (2525)
On 05/19/2009 at 9:21pm - kids - by bopbop (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21997) - you deserved it (71278)
On 05/19/2009 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by Kens (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33067) - you deserved it (18805)
On 05/19/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by Deconstructed (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13021) - you deserved it (49354)
On 05/19/2009 at 1:06pm - animals - by jrocks (man) - United States (California)
Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML
I agree, your life sucks (60657) - you deserved it (2411)
On 05/18/2009 at 11:29pm - love - by KarlwithaK (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was walking out of my front door in the town where I intern. I live alone and know no one. As I'm locking the door, I see a golf ball wedged between my mat and step. I notice that there's writing on it so I pick it up to read, "You look hot when you sleep." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58407) - you deserved it (1883)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by emoney (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34433) - you deserved it (1785)
On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)
Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77401) - you deserved it (28876)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16382) - you deserved it (43024)
On 04/14/2009 at 3:12pm - misc - by getslostinherownhouse (woman) - Spain (Madrid)
Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61266) - you deserved it (19734)
On 04/14/2009 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Obee (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking to a guy I met online and have known for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him twice, one of those times being currently. He was supposed to visit this summer. I got an email from him saying he's really a 17 year old girl from Chesterfield, MO. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24234) - you deserved it (67950)
On 04/14/2009 at 9:45am - love - by oxbbabexo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36760) - you deserved it (22410)
On 04/14/2009 at 12:44am - love - by dramaqueen (woman) - United States (Florida)
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