About stroudie94 : Yall dont need to know shit about me
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6542) - you deserved it (79136)
On 11/11/2011 at 10:17am - kids - by embarrassed - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34129) - you deserved it (4779)
On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)
Today, my girlfriend sent me a sexy picture of herself in my boxers. I thought it would be funny to take a picture of myself in the thong she left in my room and send it to her. She thought it would be funnier on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20440) - you deserved it (40771)
On 11/05/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by kdeeeceee - United States
Today, while reading over my sent application email to a job I have been trying to get, I found out my brother had put "Heil Hitler!" as my signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29955) - you deserved it (3669)
On 10/16/2011 at 3:15am - work - by Unemployed - United States (Oregon)
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24443) - you deserved it (2761)
On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)
Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20602) - you deserved it (4059)
On 09/14/2011 at 8:21pm - kids - by unknown - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23454) - you deserved it (10127)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11921) - you deserved it (35834)
On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)
Today, this girl who has been stalking me for almost 7 months sent me a 12 page text comparing her love for me with her passion for cheese. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27746) - you deserved it (2333)
On 08/22/2011 at 1:19pm - love - by Say Cheese - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49687) - you deserved it (5247)
On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)
Today, I'm a host at a restaurant. We had a birthday party for a couple of 15 year old boys and their friends. I went to clean the bathroom at the end of my shift and discovered cake everywhere, including all over the urinal. They were even nice enough to draw a smiley on the mirror with icing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18902) - you deserved it (1456)
On 08/21/2011 at 3:35am - work - by cakehater - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I learned the hard way that when a pierced, tattooed, and otherwise extremely stereotypical biker chick jokingly threatens to find you and beat you up if you don't call her back after a one-night stand, she's not actually joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10144) - you deserved it (31575)
On 08/20/2011 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by owmyhead (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in a public toilet when a guy kicks the door in and shoves a police badge in my face, screaming for me to tell him "the path of Lemmiwinks". After a whole minute of me shitting my balls off, he bursts into laughter and tells me I've been pranked. I was too embarrassed to report him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (3167)
On 08/19/2011 at 8:23pm - misc - by shitless88 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16268) - you deserved it (4494)
Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week. Before I came, I had to stop because I started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22178) - you deserved it (6813)
On 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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