Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 08/27/2015 at 4:51pm) | Search for a member
About stoych : I like a laugh, hate liars, attention seekers and generally nasty people. Be nice! Its much more rewarding than being an arse! Im a student doing an ODP degree and love the blood, guts and gore of it all!
I hate wasps. They're assholes.
I never kill spiders.
I don't like babies. I am the least maternal person I know.
I can live without TV but not my music.
My 8 party guests would be.....
Stephen Hawkins, David Attenborough, Brian cox, Marilyn Monroe, JFK, Cleopatra, Tutankhamen, Florence Nightingale.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
Today, the Internet wasn't working. One girl decided to try to diagnose the problem. It said to connect the Ethernet cable. She started making fun of the computer for spelling "Internet" wrong. I'm graduating with this idiot in less than a month. FML
Today, I thought that an ingenious way to protest against high tuition prices would be to steal a box of soymilk from my university dining hall. The box exploded in my backpack. Not only did I lose all my soymilk, I now have replace my $120 calculator. FML
Today, I have to get an ultrasound at the hospital. In order to get a clear picture, I need to have a full bladder. I've been waiting my turn for 2 hours now, desperately needing to pee. There are still multiple patients ahead of me. FML
Today, I forgot to shut off some pumps before closing the main valves that run to them. Several sirens soon started blaring at a deafening level. I'm new here and nobody else is around. I don't know how to shut the sirens off. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML
Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML
Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML
Today, we got a new employee at work. I said hi, and told her that if she needed help figuring out our computer system, then to give me a call. She promptly accused me of sexual harassment and filed a complaint against me. FML
Tuesday 24 November 2015