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stonealone

Offline (the 05/21/2015 at 11:58am) | Search for a member

stonealone

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 270
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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stonealone's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of stonealone's badges

stonealone's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML

#21397872
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29931) - you deserved it (5227)

On 04/22/2015 at 9:39am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a screenshot of his phone's contact list, to show me the adorable photo of us he'd set as my contact image. I guess he didn't realize that a contact called "Side Babe" was just barely in the screenshot too. FML

#21325257
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37173) - you deserved it (2711)

On 12/27/2014 at 11:54am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my butt decided to delete the 650 photos I had on my phone. FML

#21247514
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36395) - you deserved it (7421)

On 08/28/2014 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52388) - you deserved it (16906)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I'm babysitting two 6 year old kids. One of them won't stop screaming, and the other kid found his mom's vibrator and won't stop playing spaceship with it. The parents will be home in an hour. FML

#21157917
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40710) - you deserved it (4939)

On 05/31/2014 at 2:40am - kids - by moomanjohnny - United States (California)

Today, I hurt my back, and now I have to lie on my stomach for twenty minutes every hour so I can ice the pain. My boyfriend won't stop using my ass as bongo drums every time. FML

#21127987
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40269) - you deserved it (6991)

On 05/01/2014 at 1:31pm - misc - by booty backfire - United States

Today, I was playing an intense game of Flappy Bird. I was so excited at being about to beat my high score that I got a hard-on. FML

#21074219
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42503) - you deserved it (19823)

On 02/28/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Russian Federation (Moskva)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48788) - you deserved it (17761)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my house is on lockdown. I recently moved to Georgia from Rhode Island to be with my boyfriend. The state is on high alert for an ice storm. I'm stuck inside with my terrified boyfriend, who's calling it "the storm of the century". I used to walk to school in this weather. FML

#21058111
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48369) - you deserved it (5541)

On 02/12/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stuck - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53038) - you deserved it (11929)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43541) - you deserved it (8173) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, I sold my Xbox 360 on Craigslist. I met the dude at the mall. I gave him my Xbox and a handshake for buying. I left without the money. FML

#16294930
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17111) - you deserved it (65501)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:53am - money - by Derek Lee - United States (California)

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

#15598918
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33636) - you deserved it (45297)

On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was awoken by my neighbor pounding on my back door at 3 am, only to look outside and see my car engulfed in flames. FML

#15226621
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37724) - you deserved it (2653)

On 03/07/2011 at 4:19am - misc - by WTF -



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