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stonage81

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stonage81

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  • Number of visits : 276
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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stonage81's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my 17th birthday, and the first birthday since my mother died, leaving me to live with my previously-absent father. He gave me pretzels and a laser pointer, and said, "Happy birthday, fuckstick". One more year. FML

#20581667
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63720) - you deserved it (3052)

On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my boss threatened to fire me for killing him in Minecraft. FML

#20571304
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35101) - you deserved it (7603)

On 04/02/2013 at 6:30am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML

#20570966
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43266) - you deserved it (3036)

On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML

#20569899
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32692) - you deserved it (7268)

On 04/01/2013 at 12:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20920) - you deserved it (1456)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML

#20142294
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33104) - you deserved it (2345)

On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML

#17643298
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29499) - you deserved it (18410)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (272158) - you deserved it (17613)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (236392) - you deserved it (82023)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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