stlpixurs

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stlpixurs

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 April 1982 (34 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 941
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About stlpixurs : I have the worst luck in the world. Seriously. I also write/direct/produce movies. Get at me to chat on fb: facebook.com/stlpixurs or on myspace: myspace.com/stlpixurs

stlpixurs's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

stlpixurs's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML

by Ltl_Dust_Bunny / 03/23/2009 at 3:36am / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, I was leaving to go over to a friend's and my parents suddenly ask if I'm gay. I reply that no, I'm bisexual. My mom then asks if I've ever made out with someone of the same sex and I say yes. She turns to my dad and says 'I told you so. You owe me $20'. My parents bet on my sexuality. FML

by Syferix / 03/18/2009 at 6:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

by bluten / 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I met this really attractive guy who introduced himself as Wyan. He was really cool and sweet and we got along pretty well. Then someone informed me that his name is Ryan and that he has a speech impediment, AFTER I had been referring to him as Wyan for quite some time. FML

by hellosaila / 02/27/2009 at 2:58am / United States (California) / Love

Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML

by yawho / 02/25/2009 at 2:25am / Japan (Tokyo) / Work

Today, I was DJ'ing a wedding. The groom wanted a song played for his grandma and grandpa. I announce over the microphone for his grandparents to come to the dance floor for a special song. Turns out his grandparents have been dead for over a year and the song was supposed to be in dedication. FML

by holladaddy / 02/23/2009 at 7:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML

by lunarboy / 02/16/2009 at 7:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked by my roommate and his girlfriend while they were hugging. I asked "what's up lovebirds?". Turns out they were in the middle of a breakup. FML

by dammit_ / 02/16/2009 at 2:36am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting on the couch, computer next to me, lotion on the floor, and my dick in my hand when my roommate walked in on me. Scared and looking me right in the face he says "What's for dinner?". FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2009 at 11:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I daringly tried that fish-bath thing, where all these fish come and eat all of your skin's dead cells. I got into it, and after 15 minutes of being a human buffet, at least 20 of the fish died. FML

by anx133 / 01/15/2009 at 8:25pm / China (Shanghai) / Health

Today, I should have given my first concert in front of a crowded audience. As we were about to go on stage my band decided to roll a joint outside. The cops just happened to pass by and now I'm on my own. FML

by christous / 11/21/2008 at 11:42pm / Work