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Today, I was cuddling with the guy I like. I looked into his eyes and said, "Your eyes are so blue, like the ocean." He replied by saying, "Your eyes are so brown... like my shit". FML
I agree, your life sucks (65459) - you totally deserved it (11095)
On 04/12/2009 at 1:06am - love - by s3rp (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (113697) - you totally deserved it (11938)
On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (202052) - you totally deserved it (32281)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (385071) - you totally deserved it (67468)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by jgondi1 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37429) - you totally deserved it (3675)
On 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm - health - by Sick (man) - Canada (Ontario)
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