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steven0392

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steven0392

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  • Number of visits : 133
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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steven0392's FML badges

50 favourites

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Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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steven0392's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45103) - you deserved it (14698) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44096) - you deserved it (9465)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46341) - you deserved it (8722)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to one of my high school students that the importance of Pearl Harbor was not, in fact, because the Japanese stole the US pearl supply. FML

#21020544
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41564) - you deserved it (3585)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:00pm - work - by tpj24 - United States (Iowa)

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

#21016206
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44495) - you deserved it (20137)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

#21012945
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55316) - you deserved it (4930)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm - love - by Crashed - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML

#20994621
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53144) - you deserved it (2982)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by confsused - Canada (Ontario)

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51196) - you deserved it (5316)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, my dad came into my room, looked at my laptop, and said he could hear the porn I was watching all the way from his room. I wasn't watching porn. We soon realised it was actually coming from his mobile phone. FML

#20929016
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53015) - you deserved it (3912)

On 10/21/2013 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

#20921768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46825) - you deserved it (4688)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by secretsmakefriends (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57551) - you deserved it (3288)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, while having a serious talk with my father, he said, "Son, you're only alive because of a faulty, off-brand condom." FML

#20774202
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46898) - you deserved it (3309)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm - misc - by my honest father - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59292) - you deserved it (37042)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
438 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59292) - you deserved it (37042)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58381) - you deserved it (9170)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



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