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steve5ma's favorite FMLs
by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
by icanthearyou / 04/04/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate for the first time. He was sucking on my boob, everything was going good. He suddenly stopped and started choking really bad. He thought milk was coming out. Turns out, it was just his gum. The moment was ruined. FML
by me / 01/05/2010 at 11:22am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML
by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Lars / 01/31/2009 at 12:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…