sterling1113

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sterling1113

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 971
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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sterling1113's page activity

Visits<b>UncleHoodie</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 10:59pm<b>ThatOneAstro</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 11:26pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 11:50pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 6:49pm<b>skye147</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 12:15pm<b>Zigstyle308</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 8:39pm<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:50pm<b>kylieh72</b> - the 04/19/2015 at 7:18pm<b>keithsbooty</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 12:07am<b>Kirbyzx</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:16pm<b>meganlovestea</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 6:11am<b>nightowl713</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:22pm<b>kelsorg</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 10:11am<b>JBChristian</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:17am<b>ouimetnick</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 1:35am<b>bunnylove483</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:36am<b>brwneyes</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 9:35pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 7:43pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 6:26pm

sterling1113's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of sterling1113's badges

sterling1113's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were planning on having sex. He first excused himself to the bathroom, then returned with a sad face saying he had fumbled with himself in the bathroom to get "ready" and accidentally came. He said, "I was thinking of you though." FML

by hahaohyeahwow / 09/24/2014 at 12:24am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:08am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

by stalked / 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

by Z3R0G5 / 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals

Today, despite all of the pictures and proof of my fiancé, my parents still think I have an imaginary boyfriend. They met him, and were there when he proposed. They think it's all a joke. FML

by Fiancé problemsss / 01/05/2014 at 2:11am / United States (Montana) / Love

Today, I went on a 70-mile drive to the next town over to finally meet this beautiful girl I had talked to online. To my surprise, she looked exactly how she did in her pictures, minus the ring on her finger and the fiancé who wanted to punch me in the face. FML

by William Johnson / 12/26/2013 at 6:57pm / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

by BioChickthcfy / 11/13/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "mom" while at work. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2013 at 8:15pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Work

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

by fsfs / 08/17/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Schleswig-Holstein) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck / 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm / Guam / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

by Sigh / 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Transportation