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Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML
I agree, your life sucks (7044) - you totally deserved it (38035)
On 07/15/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, the cops showed up to check out a child abuse complaint, I then had to spend an hour explaining that I had given my son a suppository. The neighbors heard him sobbing hysterically "Daddy, why did you put that in my butt? It hurts." My neighbor had heard and thought I was raping my son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53950) - you totally deserved it (2299)
On 06/24/2009 at 5:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16157) - you totally deserved it (42947)
On 06/23/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by FattyMcFatterson (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, a car floated slowly into my lane from the left with no signal. She gazed at the right turn like it was going to kiss her. "What the FUCK, lady?" I shouted, slamming on my brakes. Two seconds later I hear a tiny voice in my back seat, "What fut, YADY?!" My 22 month old son's first full sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12656) - you totally deserved it (39576)
On 06/22/2009 at 1:30am - kids - by ObeyTheFist (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend sent me a naked picture of herself and I wish she hadn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19715) - you totally deserved it (46821)
On 06/16/2009 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by MisterSeth (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30695) - you totally deserved it (2451)
On 06/16/2009 at 8:59pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's parents' house for dinner, and I thought no one was looking, I picked my nose and put it underneath my chair. Turns out she has a little brother who found it appropriate to point at me and scream, "Booger monster, Booger monster!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (3289) - you totally deserved it (37136)
On 06/16/2009 at 7:37pm - kids - by buggermonster (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7024) - you totally deserved it (20830)
On 06/16/2009 at 6:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)
Today, it was my high school graduation. Because our school colors were red, black and white, and our principal looked somewhat like Hitler, the senior class prank was to salute him when he finished his speech. I was the only one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30005) - you totally deserved it (19404)
On 06/16/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35786) - you totally deserved it (1979)
On 06/16/2009 at 7:14am - misc - by BirthdayTeeth - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, I got on my flight for my brother's graduation in Portland, Maine. Unable to find my mom in the airport, a stranger overheard my dilemma and informed me I was in Portland, Oregon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17351) - you totally deserved it (13780)
On 06/16/2009 at 4:26am - misc - by Rayyy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41303) - you totally deserved it (2007)
On 06/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by Tim (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25968) - you totally deserved it (1670)
On 06/15/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by skreweduP (woman) - United States
Today, my mom accused me of having an eating disorder, and I didn't correct her. Truth is, I lost weight after I went off the pill a year ago. I'm too embarrassed to tell my mom that I haven't had anyone in a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25603) - you totally deserved it (4057)
On 06/14/2009 at 10:35pm - health - by LP (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34798) - you totally deserved it (1701)
On 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan (Okinawa)
