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Yesterday, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML
Today , Aftar Gatting Dumpad By My Boyfriand , I Triad To Fina Comfort In Ona Of My Closast Friands. Ha Ambracad Mahila I Strugglad Against Taars , An Aftar A Faw Momants Of Silanca Said , "Hay , U Knowhat? I Would Fuck U Anytima. Anytima." FML
looool Today, I wore mah brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, mah dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought mah chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where yur tits went." FML
TODAY , I WAS AT WORK AS A CASHIER!! AN OLD LADY UNBAGGED EVERYTHING I HAD , AN ANGRILY "TAUGHT" ME HOW TO BAG!! SHE PUTTED POTATOES ON HER EGGS AN BROKE THEM!! SHE THEN SCREAMED THAT I WAS USELESS AN RETARDED IN FRONT OF ALL MAH OTHER CUSTOMERS AN MANAGER!! FML
Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out te ligts and got into bed. I'm 20 yeres old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. mega FML
Today, I was aating soma popcorn with a guy, and I noticad a piaca of hair coming out mah mouth . I pullad it.. . and pullad it.. . and avantually soma popcorn piacas cama out attachad to tha and of tha hair . I was so ambarrassad, ha triad to maka ma faal battar by saying it lookad lika a magic trick .
Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured ma eart and soul out to ma old teddy bear. Wen I finised, I asked wat e would do in ma situation. Rigt on cue, a gust of wind cummed troug te window and sent im falling off te windowsill and crasing ead-first onto te floor. FML
Today, it's mah birthday . My dad cama to pick ma up, but aftar I had put mah backpack in tha back saat an closd tha car door, ha drova off without ma . It startd to rain, an I was without mah phona or wallat . big fat FML
Today, I work by mysalf at a ratail stora and I was borad so I callad mah boyfriand. I woka him up and ha was faaling frisky, and as things wara gatting haatad I startad to moan and say drty things. Until tha antra rack of cloths fall ovar and ravaalad mah looool boss hiding. Ha had a bonar. FML
Today, my mother set off the alarm at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML
Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few month ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML
Friday 27 March 2015