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stealthkitten

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stealthkitten
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 468
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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stealthkitten's favorite FMLs

Today, I went shopping with my mom. I went into my department and tried on some clothes. After a few minutes, there is an announcement that a child has gone missing. Staff are searching the store. I see my mom and she hugs me in tears and yells, "I found her!" I'm almost 17. FML

#17986846
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33774) - you deserved it (2863)

On 10/15/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by Ania (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31402) - you deserved it (8857)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the man I love still thinks that female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one. FML

#17964830
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35273) - you deserved it (5316)

On 10/12/2011 at 12:26am - intimacy - by ksamp - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30635) - you deserved it (22433)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML

#17925630
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30634) - you deserved it (1816)

On 10/07/2011 at 1:55am - work - by bdjsbskl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you deserved it (15232)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, my parents asked me if I would dog-sit for them while they go to my ex's wedding. FML

#17864370
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27596) - you deserved it (2238)

On 09/29/2011 at 4:14pm - misc - by littlepsychgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

#17708928
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27395) - you deserved it (3660)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, desperate after a very painful breakup, I poured my heart and soul out to my old teddy bear. When I finished, I asked what he would do in my situation. Right on cue, a gust of wind came through the window and sent him falling off the windowsill and crashing head-first onto the floor. FML

#17706108
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32269) - you deserved it (5787) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/09/2011 at 7:18pm - love - by Angie - France

Today, it's my birthday. My dad came to pick me up, but after I had put my backpack in the back seat and closed the car door, he drove off without me. It started to rain, and I was without my phone or wallet. FML

#17682370
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21837) - you deserved it (1837)

On 09/06/2011 at 6:53pm - misc - by poisongrl (woman) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get a harmonica removed from my mouth. FML

#17675757
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10164) - you deserved it (16353)

On 09/05/2011 at 10:52pm - health - by wheezy (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16990) - you deserved it (47878)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

#16569461
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38864) - you deserved it (3602)

On 06/08/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife announced that she wanted a divorce. She'd actually started dating another man a few months ago, but she wanted to drag our marriage out as long as possible just in case her new relationship fell through. FML

#16515847
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38509) - you deserved it (2781)

On 06/05/2011 at 4:20pm - love - by mj - United States

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31244) - you deserved it (4718)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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