[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

stayawake96

Search for a member

stayawake96
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1308
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About stayawake96 : This site makes me feel better about my life.

stayawake96's last visitors

MrSassypantsDuck_S0Upwinterforever97ddh85paco1021bugubroken_symlinkperdixralletsraphannearmyycadet7

stayawake96's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of stayawake96's badges

stayawake96's favorite FMLs

Today, I learnt there's a woman who comes into my store only to hear my Barry White-like voice. My boss knows who it is, yet refuses to tell me because it's "hilarious." I'm now cautious of every customer. FML

#18950332 (42)

I agree, your life sucks (14307) - you deserved it (1888)

On 01/30/2012 at 4:00am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754 (168)

I agree, your life sucks (23170) - you deserved it (2697)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because we watched a movie that Taylor Lautner was in, she claims they made special eye contact and they are destined to be together. FML

#18379052 (349)

I agree, your life sucks (13529) - you deserved it (1477)

On 11/28/2011 at 8:33pm - love - by hot_shot (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I caught my mother trying to text on her iPhone, with her nipple. FML

#18364433 (346)

I agree, your life sucks (12114) - you deserved it (902)

On 11/27/2011 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, while working at my local supermarket, a customer threw a turkey at me because we "should have bigger ones." FML

#18336514 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (21050) - you deserved it (1726)

On 11/24/2011 at 11:46am - work - by Justforlolz - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found an old jock strap in my tuba. FML

#18244771 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (7354) - you deserved it (1133)

On 11/14/2011 at 8:23am - misc - by jocksblow - United States

Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML

#18145171 (354)

I agree, your life sucks (47746) - you deserved it (2997)

On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817 (304)

I agree, your life sucks (38677) - you deserved it (5262)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

#17730120 (76)

I agree, your life sucks (17473) - you deserved it (2779)

On 09/12/2011 at 7:03pm - animals - by GnarCarBar - United States

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

#17576599 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (24445) - you deserved it (2726)

On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

#17307885 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (28506) - you deserved it (2528)

On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963 (364)

I agree, your life sucks (29834) - you deserved it (2321)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, after 14 rice-filled days in China, I came back home. What's for lunch? Rice. FML

#17120359 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (20617) - you deserved it (6660)

On 07/15/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by panos016 - United Kingdom

Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML

#17058882 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (23480) - you deserved it (9251)

On 07/10/2011 at 10:34pm - health - by muffintop (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML

#16243559 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (28324) - you deserved it (2632)

On 05/18/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Ally (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



Your account

Sign up - Password?
→ Illustrated FMLs
→ The blog
+ FML, the follow-up
↓ Categories

FML's blog

05/15/2012

The whole blog

Switch to FML for visually impaired

FMyLife, world tour

Available on:

© 2008-2012 by