Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

starw0lf

Offline (the 10/06/2014 at 2:33am) | Search for a member

starw0lf

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1928
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About starw0lf : I have been an FML reader (lurker) for a while and decided to make an account just recently.

starw0lf's page activity

Visits<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:12am<b>blackhawkdown69</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 8:22pm<b>yamuri</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 8:26am<b>Soxfan16</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 10:15pm<b>guineagirl</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 12:02pm<b>SpiderInsomniac</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 9:15pm<b>chattysoul890</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:54am<b>jicou</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:40am<b>foxxakush</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:37am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 4:06am<b>UnluckyGenius</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 9:29pm<b>earmuffs</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:27am<b>silentshadow90</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 8:27am<b>camjarvis44</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 7:17pm<b>capri96</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:47am<b>sleepRX</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 12:56am<b>tompou6</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 9:56pm<b>twhite23</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 7:26pm

starw0lf's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of starw0lf's badges

starw0lf's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML

#4927406
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53317) - you deserved it (14061)

On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59755) - you deserved it (7152)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I decided to surprise my husband by bringing home a case of beer and renting us a porno. He decided to surprise me by telling me he was leaving me for his pregnant girlfriend. FML

#4368729
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52081) - you deserved it (3738)

On 08/07/2009 at 7:35pm - misc - by Screwed (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a very good friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said, "Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!" When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said, "You've made me the happiest man alive" as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML

#4340185
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26315) - you deserved it (96734)

On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML

#4097129
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47373) - you deserved it (9094)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife is divorcing me because she wants to party more with her friends alone. One year ago, I followed her to Norway, where her family lives. I left my friends, family and job opportunities (which were very good) in order to live with her. Now I am shoveling shit on a horse farm. FML

#3925497
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57641) - you deserved it (11287)

On 07/21/2009 at 8:03am - love - by person_r (man) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML

#3583602
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7796) - you deserved it (91692)

On 07/08/2009 at 2:45pm - misc - by AmberKCole (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years told me he was leaving me because we haven't slept together in a few weeks. I just gave birth to our first child and am still recovering from my c-section. FML

#3570179
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83755) - you deserved it (7637)

On 07/08/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Applelover012 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML

#3553930
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22120) - you deserved it (215424)

On 07/07/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stoopid (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent 3 hours washing my hands to get the pony out of the soap bar. I'm 16. FML

#3297197
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11218) - you deserved it (50178)

On 06/28/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Soapy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML

#3211870
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33389) - you deserved it (69986)

On 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by UrbanCass (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

#2565972
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46337) - you deserved it (15350)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm - kids - by psychortiz (man) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: