starman02

Search for a member

Offline (the 05/24/2015 at 4:44am)

starman02

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 July 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1863
  • Number of comments : 154
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About starman02 : Alright first of all I invented water.. You've probably drank it, or swam in it before yeah that stuff.. Your welcome
I'm a retired astronaut
I've competed in the UFC professionally I'm undefeated inside the octagon
I can fly, no you can't see
I'm married to batman
Your family wanted to adopt me when we were kids
I can answer the mysteries of the universe
I get presents on your birthday from your friends, if they are mutual friends I get your presents
I punched a shark in the face and made it cry
When I was a kid I single handedly built a time machine and stopped hitler from winning WWII yeah.. Your welcome world
I look directly into the sun absorb the sunlight and than use it to see in the dark later
I'm fireproof
The devil sold his soul to me, I gave it to Justin bieber
I smell great
I am awesome

starman02's page activity

Visits<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 2:34am<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 2:35pm<b>Jmdezy</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 11:56am<b>heroqucas</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 2:22pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 5:25pm<b>YoshiEgg</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 2:53pm<b>norpedo</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 11:54pm<b>YourGrammarSucks</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 12:41am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 8:31pm<b>breakingbad</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:43pm<b>HelenKeller1</b> - the 01/11/2016 at 12:46pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 2:35am<b>facelick</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 7:16pm<b>paperbagking13</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 4:59pm<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 7:49pm<b>goodshadow2163</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 9:33am<b>bryce106</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 1:41pm<b>Bethaneey</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 1:57am

Fucked!<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 8:39am<b>SeedtheMasta</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 5:18am<b>apineapple</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 7:45pm<b>clodagh</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:58am<b>cartermccarroll</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:16am

starman02's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of starman02's badges

starman02's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML

by blaise / 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was volunteering at a school, as I walked past the swings these two girls smiled and said "wow, you are so pretty!". I smiled back and said "awww, well thank you!." As I walked past I hear them laughing, "she actually believed us." FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 11:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 9:04am / Malta / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him "if you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 3:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

by MrAwsum / 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

by ihatevideos / 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

by twit / 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

by GD / 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love