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Offline (the 12/06/2016 at 6:36pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 July 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2015
  • Number of comments : 156
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About starman02 : Alright first of all I invented water.. You've probably drank it, or swam in it before yeah that stuff.. Your welcome
I'm a retired astronaut
I've competed in the UFC professionally I'm undefeated inside the octagon
I can fly, no you can't see
I'm married to batman
Your family wanted to adopt me when we were kids
I can answer the mysteries of the universe
I get presents on your birthday from your friends, if they are mutual friends I get your presents
I punched a shark in the face and made it cry
When I was a kid I single handedly built a time machine and stopped hitler from winning WWII yeah.. Your welcome world
I look directly into the sun absorb the sunlight and than use it to see in the dark later
I'm fireproof
The devil sold his soul to me, I gave it to Justin bieber
I smell great
I am awesome

starman02's page activity

Visits<b>snowboardflips</b> - yesterday at 6:58am<b>lgard</b> - the 12/08/2016 at 1:23am<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 12/06/2016 at 11:11pm<b>Generalleroy</b> - the 11/24/2016 at 9:36pm<b>xlJOEY</b> - the 11/20/2016 at 5:54pm<b>Captobvious19</b> - the 11/13/2016 at 10:02pm<b>Jayroc</b> - the 11/10/2016 at 7:51am<b>manofmerr</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 11:17am<b>whatwhatwhatt</b> - the 11/07/2016 at 12:21am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/05/2016 at 2:30pm<b>JordanODST</b> - the 11/01/2016 at 7:54pm<b>vreid</b> - the 10/31/2016 at 9:05pm<b>Mons</b> - the 10/31/2016 at 7:12pm<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 10/30/2016 at 9:44pm<b>gar2014</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 6:46pm<b>hacksaw246</b> - the 08/25/2016 at 1:32pm<b>potatocouch</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 3:57pm<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 2:34am

Fucked!<b>lgard</b> - the 12/08/2016 at 7:23am<b>Jayroc</b> - the 11/10/2016 at 1:52pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/01/2016 at 2:23am<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 10/31/2016 at 2:44am<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 8:39am<b>SeedtheMasta</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 5:18am<b>apineapple</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 7:45pm<b>clodagh</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 9:58am<b>cartermccarroll</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 9:16am

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starman02's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years dumped me. When I asked if there was another guy, she responded, "You were the other guy". FML

by blaise / 04/13/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was volunteering at a school, as I walked past the swings these two girls smiled and said "wow, you are so pretty!". I smiled back and said "awww, well thank you!." As I walked past I hear them laughing, "she actually believed us." FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 11:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 9:04am / Malta / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was really stressed about a guy he works with being a jerk. I told him "if you ignore something long enough, it won't bother you anymore." His response was "I've ignored my herpes for a long time but it still bothers me." We've been having sex for 3 months now. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 3:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

by MrAwsum / 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

by ihatevideos / 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

by twit / 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

by GD / 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." His response: "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

by bittersweet / 02/07/2009 at 10:08pm / United States (New York) / Love