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starla_xoxo

Offline (the 08/10/2014 at 5:21pm) | Search for a member

starla_xoxo

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 878
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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starla_xoxo's page activity

Visits<b>KhazKhazz</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 2:32am<b>omgpp</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 8:21am<b>tinywingzzz</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 9:20am<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:40pm<b>boostedc</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:01pm<b>gingaa96</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:26am<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:56am<b>blueman_17</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 11:26am<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 7:11am<b>Demig0d6</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 3:53am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:07pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Beansforbill</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Kyklopes</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 10:37am<b>ShakeDisPlace</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 10:34am<b>dre82</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 5:46pm<b>bomzo</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 12:14am<b>jizzwold</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 8:52pm

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starla_xoxo's favorite FMLs

Today, I went for a romantic, anniversary meal with my wife. It was amazing, until we had to rush home halfway through because our daughter rang, informing us that her 20-year-old sister had broken her wrist trying to jump from the roof, onto the trampoline and into the pool. She 'miscalculated'. FML

#21230823
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39670) - you deserved it (3238)

On 08/06/2014 at 9:21am - kids - by We raised that fool (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

#21230047
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24480) - you deserved it (51326)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44653) - you deserved it (6898)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my mom about signing up for an online dating site. She took one look at me and said, "Why get rejected online when you can just go outside for the same?" FML

#21229228
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37518) - you deserved it (3805)

On 08/04/2014 at 11:08am - misc - by baebookboo - United States (Kansas)

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

#21228488
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23319) - you deserved it (45061)

On 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm - misc - by ew - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, an old man was having trouble using his credit card at the checkout. I told him to "just stick it in", and he replied with "I love it when you talk dirty to me." The whole line at the checkout laughed. FML

#21228111
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49083) - you deserved it (21219)

On 08/03/2014 at 1:16am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was watching my 3 year old brother. He asked me to get him a cookie and I said, "What's the magic word?" He looked at me angrily and said "Bitch, please." FML

#21227114
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43261) - you deserved it (7018)

On 08/01/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by WickedRene (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

#21226906
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33841) - you deserved it (22504)

On 08/01/2014 at 4:45pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML

#21225648
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40377) - you deserved it (6487)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:51am - health - by jogginglikeitsmyjob (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML

#21224521
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40722) - you deserved it (4648)

On 07/30/2014 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

#21224233
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38523) - you deserved it (6338)

On 07/29/2014 at 10:36pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was pulled over for distracted driving. I'd been eating a donut. Let's just say the officer didn't appreciate being offered one. FML

#21223797
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39640) - you deserved it (13861)

On 07/29/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by fatty magoo - United States (Washington)

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

#21222459
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47183) - you deserved it (3895)

On 07/27/2014 at 9:55pm - intimacy - by why - United States

Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML

#21222166
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37545) - you deserved it (4803)

On 07/27/2014 at 2:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - Germany (Hessen)



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