About starla_xoxo : I love riding horses, being outside and being with my amazing boyfriend. (:
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starla_xoxo's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his tazer at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tazed him for acting aggressively. FML
by anonymous / 11/10/2015 at 5:15pm / Czech Republic / Miscellaneous
Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML
by Hipnog / 11/07/2015 at 9:33am / Czech Republic / Miscellaneous
Today, I got married. The minister pronounced us husband and wife using our first names. Except he used my husband's ex-wife's name. I happened to glance at my mother-in-law who was almost in tears from laughing so hard. FML
by jellenwood / 11/07/2015 at 8:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML
by downgirl / 11/04/2015 at 1:02am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals
Today, I drove in heavy rain for the first time, by myself. I had been told to drive below the speed limit, and be extra careful of the cars around me. Nobody had told me about thunder scaring a cow that would then escape from the corral and hit my car. FML
by damaged / 11/03/2015 at 10:24pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML
by nocongratsneeded / 11/03/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, my dad got dressed up in formal clothes, and I asked what the occasion was. He said he had a hot date, which would've been fine if he hadn't told me what was "on the menu", namely "wining, dining, sixty-nining". Thanks for that image. FML
by ew / 11/03/2015 at 10:43am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 2:25pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML
by time to buy a gun / 11/01/2015 at 11:22pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Animals
by anonymous / 11/01/2015 at 10:13pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by guessthatsatrickthen / 10/31/2015 at 1:19pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Miscellaneous
by fuck off you fucking shitburglar / 10/31/2015 at 6:20am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Transportation
Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML
by caroline / 10/29/2015 at 4:02pm / Germany / Kids
by cpizzle12 / 10/29/2015 at 6:20am / United States (Virginia) / Work