my life is all about the FML's;)
Today, I wanted to change out of my bikini for the ride home from the beach. There wasn't a bathroom near, so I went to change in front of a suburban, parked far away from all the people. I took off my suit, hear the car's horn honk, only to find that the car was completely packed with old men. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8880) - you totally deserved it (42526)
On 04/20/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by steph (woman) - United States (California)
Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56204) - you totally deserved it (18009)
On 04/14/2009 at 10:05am - intimacy - by Obee (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking to a guy I met online and have known for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him twice, one of those times being currently. He was supposed to visit this summer. I got an email from him saying he's really a 17 year old girl from Chesterfield, MO. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20621) - you totally deserved it (60083)
On 04/14/2009 at 9:45am - love - by oxbbabexo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML
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On 04/14/2009 at 3:50am - misc - by LizLiao (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I bought a coral colored hooded sweatshirt, which my girlfriend told me was "hot". I wore it to a baseball game tonight. When it got cold I put the hood over my head, only to hear everyone behind me laugh. The back of the hood said "Boy crazy". It was a teen girls sweatshirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11184) - you totally deserved it (44114)
On 04/14/2009 at 1:10am - misc - by khood (man) - United States
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (157144) - you totally deserved it (5114)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. I was playing with his little sister by grabbing her arms and spinning her around, and on one turn she started screaming in pain. It turns out I had dislocated both her shoulders. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21112) - you totally deserved it (42406)
On 04/13/2009 at 7:27pm - kids - by grem (woman) - United States
Today, I work at a Subway Sandwich store right next to a big hospital. There was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I ask the next person in line "I bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24582) - you totally deserved it (47543)
On 04/05/2009 at 9:48am - work - by 00Evan (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17468) - you totally deserved it (41406)
On 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21207) - you totally deserved it (130420)
On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)
Today, I was out on a date with a guy. His hot co-worker came to have a beer with us, and I knew my best friend would think he was gorgeous. I wanted to take a picture of him without knowing, so i tried to hold up my phone and pretend to be texting. The flash went off. FML
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On 03/16/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States
Today, my friend had a spare ticket to a concert for a band that I didn't really know, but I went. We had seats right next to the stage and during one of the songs the lead singer puts the mic right in my face expecting me to sing to next lyrics. I didn't know them and got booed by the crowd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53599) - you totally deserved it (9856)
On 03/14/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by littlekid (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I undressed and then proceeded to throw up all over the rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63065) - you totally deserved it (6892)
On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my mom came to me and asked if I had drank her wine. I'm 16, so I lied and said "no". The next morning there was a DVD on my bed labeled "pool house security cameras - love mom." It was a video of me downing two bottles of red wine and having it off with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25084) - you totally deserved it (128249)
On 03/12/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my mom called me and told me i got accepted to my first choice college. I got really excited and asked her to read me the letter. As she started to read the letter she said, ooops...nevermind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53834) - you totally deserved it (1270)
On 03/09/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by stillwaiting (woman) - United States (New York)
