st333ph

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st333ph

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 May 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 15902
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About st333ph : So I guess one of my awkward and ridiculous comments brought you here. Well here's some info.

I'm fifteen. I'm a swimmer currently in high school.
I read FML's simply when I'm bored or when I'm just feeling like I don't want to do my work. Or I'm about to go to sleep or I'm doing my business on the toilet.

Sarcasm is what usually comes out of my mouth 88% of the time, sometimes a little too blunt 12% of the time.

st333ph's page activity

Visits<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 11:28am<b>Dogluvr1197</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 9:51am<b>djrodcol</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 3:47pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 10:56pm<b>thatoneguy255</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 5:48am<b>Kieranr10</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 1:42am<b>bghost89</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 2:05am<b>Rais</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 3:19am<b>Ultigmr</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 12:21pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 8:53am<b>aj9319</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:52pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:20pm<b>Mons</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 3:43pm<b>ijulez</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 1:45pm<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:32am<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:19am<b>born_hustla</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:09am<b>pred8885</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 8:13am

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 5:10am<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 9:14am<b>rafa015</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:40pm

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st333ph's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

by Cail / 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML

by biker2012 / 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML

by nevergoingonabusagain / 05/30/2009 at 2:52am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, while the kid I was babysitting was in the bathroom, he called to me "I need some help in here." Worried I ran to the bathroom and asked him what was wrong. He needed me to wipe his butt. As if that weren't gross enough, just as my hand was under his butt, he pooped again and laughed. FML

by sdasdflkjas / 05/30/2009 at 12:24am / United States / Kids

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was working at a day care center. A 5 year old boy came up to me telling me he wanted to eat my face. Confused, I asked him why. He said, "Because your face looks like pizza." FML

by PiZzA_FaCe / 05/29/2009 at 5:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for 3 hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

by ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass / 05/25/2009 at 4:54am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friends house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML

by ninjawhat1337 / 05/25/2009 at 12:14am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to use my mentor's advice. I told her I had been having some trouble controlling my anger, she told me to throw rocks at trees. I threw a rock at a tree, very hard. It bounced back hit me above the eye. I'm still pissed as shit. FML

by untitledentity / 05/24/2009 at 12:03pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

by ineedalifekay / 05/24/2009 at 2:43am / Canada (British Columbia) / Holidays

Today, my girlfriend and I went down to the pier. I brought an empty bottle and some paper, and we both constructed a massive letter expressing our passionate love for each other. We stuck it in the bottle, and threw it out to sea, only to see it explode in slow motion on a protruding rock. FML

by CastAway / 05/23/2009 at 8:16pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

by verycre8tive / 05/21/2009 at 3:31am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous

Today, while going for a run in my neighbourhood I was hit by a car not once, but twice. The second car, closely following the first, stopped and then drove forward to see if I was all right. FML

by OUCH / 05/19/2009 at 1:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, after a long night of partying, I was hanging out with this girl I really like. I was feeling really hungover, so we were just sitting at the park. She confessed to me that she's liked me since the day she met me. Out of excitement and hungoverness, I threw up on her shoes. FML

by Anonymous / 05/19/2009 at 1:16am / Canada / Love