st333ph

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st333ph

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 May 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16089
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About st333ph : So I guess one of my awkward and ridiculous comments brought you here. Well here's some info.

I'm fifteen. I'm a swimmer currently in high school.
I read FML's simply when I'm bored or when I'm just feeling like I don't want to do my work. Or I'm about to go to sleep or I'm doing my business on the toilet.

Sarcasm is what usually comes out of my mouth 88% of the time, sometimes a little too blunt 12% of the time.

st333ph's page activity

Visits<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 11:28am<b>Dogluvr1197</b> - the 08/23/2016 at 9:51am<b>djrodcol</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 3:47pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 10:56pm<b>thatoneguy255</b> - the 08/12/2016 at 5:48am<b>Kieranr10</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 1:42am<b>bghost89</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 2:05am<b>Rais</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 3:19am<b>Ultigmr</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 12:21pm<b>BestOrginalName</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 8:53am<b>aj9319</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:52pm<b>pks2014</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:20pm<b>Mons</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 3:43pm<b>ijulez</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 1:45pm<b>Whiplash169</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:32am<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:19am<b>born_hustla</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 9:09am<b>pred8885</b> - the 03/29/2016 at 8:13am

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 5:10am<b>DevilsMetsGiants</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 9:14am<b>rafa015</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 12:40pm

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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st333ph's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going to do some laundry, with the washer and dryer I bought off of Craigslist for 150 dollars. The washer leaks and the dryer doesn't dry. So I called the guy and left an angry message about how the washer flooded my kitchen. In fact I just forgot to hook up the drain hose. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of a month had to leave early. I asked him why and he replied that his brother was getting off the bus and he needed to feed him. I had never met his brother, and I said "He can't feed himself? What is he, retarded?" He is. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2009 at 1:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML

by hatboxghost / 07/09/2009 at 1:17am / United States / Love

Today, the car in front of me was going slow and I flashed my lights and honked. I floored it and passed the car, flipping off the driver. Just as I went around the next corner I got pulled over by a motorcycle cop. A few seconds later, the guy I flipped off drove by honked and waved. FML

by AmberKCole / 07/08/2009 at 2:45pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

by stupid / 07/07/2009 at 10:34am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left something in my boss' office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breast feeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

by superclutz / 07/06/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML

by Anonymous / 07/06/2009 at 3:21pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

by spitballer1 / 07/06/2009 at 12:54pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML

by Sleepy / 07/04/2009 at 11:24am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML

by dad / 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my husband of one week lost his wedding ring while we were preparing for a dinner party. After a thorough search and no luck, I started to cry. He told me to quit being a drama queen because we had guests. He then got drunk with his friends, puked on the patio, and called me a bitch. FML

by honeymoonisover / 06/28/2009 at 12:05pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

by Chedder / 06/26/2009 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML

by Tom / 06/25/2009 at 8:56pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML

by UrbanCass / 06/25/2009 at 7:44pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy