Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ssmckenzie15

Search for a member

ssmckenzie15

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 210
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ssmckenzie15's page activity

Visits<b>Gremlinek</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 12:23pm

ssmckenzie15's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ssmckenzie15's badges

ssmckenzie15's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom called to bestow upon me warm holiday pearls of wisdom: "I hope you aren't giving everyone your natural handmade eco-shit again. Gifts should be returnable. And have a price." FML

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51522) - you deserved it (14878)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51522) - you deserved it (14878)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51522) - you deserved it (14878)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52929) - you deserved it (2922)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59418) - you deserved it (4293)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47985) - you deserved it (8012)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I realized how amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everything from the noises of my juices to pure, blissful climax over the phone to my husband. He came; I finished putting laundry away. FML

#20955991
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45831) - you deserved it (12075)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today, I was mentioning to a coworker how there was a huge lull today in business. A young coworker then turns to me and says in a snooty tone, "I think you mean a 'lol', it's pronounced L-O-L." FML

#20953649
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42519) - you deserved it (2804)

On 11/11/2013 at 5:36am - work - by shut up. - New Zealand

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42546) - you deserved it (3854)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61780) - you deserved it (4029)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, I played a friendly prank on my dad, loosening the legs of his chair so it would fall apart when he sat on it. He responded by making me stand outside and watch as he keyed both sides of my car, front to back, as punishment. FML

#20944097
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34912) - you deserved it (40331)

On 11/03/2013 at 4:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Cyprus (Nicosia)

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

#20943580
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49241) - you deserved it (6322)

On 11/03/2013 at 9:22am - kids - by KittyKat (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45022) - you deserved it (5158)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, some asshat chewed me out over a 10 cent late fine he was charged on his library card. When I tried to explain the fine to him, he started mimicking me. Finally, as he chucked a dime at my head before storming out, I saw the glint of a Rolex watch from beneath his power suit. FML

#20894007
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40979) - you deserved it (2696)

On 09/24/2013 at 2:14am - work - by DimeShapedBruise (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: