ssmckenzie15

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Offline (the 03/21/2015 at 1:27pm)

ssmckenzie15

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 November 1993 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1085
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ssmckenzie15's page activity

Visits<b>Gremlinek</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 12:23pm

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ssmckenzie15's favorite FMLs

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

by kids say the darnedest things / 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

by someonepleasehelpme / 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, we decided to go to an aquarium for a little family get-away. At the end was a shark viewing deck, and I leaned over the rails to get a better look. How did I find out that my glasses needed to be adjusted? They fell off and sunk right to the bottom of the shark-infested waters. FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2014 at 11:57am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I had to drop off my library book. I thought I'd dropped in into the library book drop, but I'd accidentally put it in the post office mail box. To get the book back, I had to explain this incident five times to three librarians, a mailman, and my sister who called me ridiculous. FML

by lolateverything / 07/17/2014 at 12:25am / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML

by all puked out / 07/13/2014 at 5:14pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the public library for the first time ever. The librarian told me I couldn't get a library card because I had an outstanding balance of $130.00 from 1995. I was born in 1991. FML

by library book / 07/10/2014 at 1:27am / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2014 at 12:53am / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML

by pissed off / 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Miscellaneous

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm / Spain (Comunidad Valenciana) / Animals

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

by FirstDaddy / 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML

by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML

by Godhelpme / 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work