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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out why my 20 year-old girlfriend broke up with me. She was building everything she did to match her favorite TV show. The main character left her boyfriend in the exact way she left me. And the breakup email she sent me contained monologue from the TV show, word for word. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57957) - you deserved it (3582)
On 08/26/2009 at 3:09am - love - by micahmatt (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22931) - you deserved it (13507)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by bobuhbeartoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9647) - you deserved it (57196)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46155) - you deserved it (6115)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was at the mall with my little brother. I saw him touching some expensive objects, so I slapped his arm. I noticed he wasn't my brother when he started crying and his real mom slapped me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11048) - you deserved it (44699)
On 08/09/2009 at 3:28am - kids - by mochiko (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27891) - you deserved it (10472)
On 08/09/2009 at 12:22am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49664) - you deserved it (13468)
On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew
Today, my coworkers decided to play a game of "Who Can Piss the Boss Off the Most". I opted not to play, but I still won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38365) - you deserved it (3886)
On 07/22/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by PokeTheBear (man) - Canada
Monday 20 May 2013
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