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squigmo1414

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squigmo1414

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 April 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 200
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About squigmo1414 : Hi, my name is Haley. I am a hopeful author and a future X-Ray tech with the worst luck imaginable (sometimes). As of now, I am in a longstanding relationship, work retail, and spend most of my time doing multiple nerdy things like video games or Dungeons and Dragons. Oh yeah, and I hate cats.

squigmo1414's page activity

Visits<b>izbechillin</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:10am<b>Welshite</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 3:16pm<b>WeiXinLun</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 3:19pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 9:58pm

squigmo1414's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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squigmo1414's favorite FMLs

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

#21168476
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34872) - you deserved it (8491)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm - animals - by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, at my job at a fast-food restaurant, I once again got called into the men's bathroom to break up sex between two homeless people. FML

#21145062
191 comments

Today, my great-grandmother uttered the phrase, "Just because I'm gray up here, doesn't mean I'm gray down there!" FML

#21120495
108 comments

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55803) - you deserved it (7037)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was on a date with my boyfriend. As we walked back home from the cinema, he was checking his phone, when suddenly someone grabbed it and ran off. I had to be the one to go run after the thug because my 23-year-old boyfriend froze on the spot, crying. FML

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

#21110643
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42922) - you deserved it (3056)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was stuck in the elevator for almost two hours. Where was the elevator mechanic? Next to me in the elevator. FML

#21098357
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41978) - you deserved it (2935)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:42am - work - by ClaustrophobicNightmares - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, after years of frustration, I got a t-shirt printed that says, "I am a girl". FML

#21097950
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35111) - you deserved it (5223)

On 03/27/2014 at 6:34pm - misc - by mookiemookie01 (woman) -

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

#21088237
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41791) - you deserved it (5751)

On 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm - health - by thanksdad (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, while on a date, I went to take a sip of my drink, but for some reason I expected a straw to be there. I ended up wiggling my tongue and mouth around my glass looking for it as I kept my eyes on my date. It must've looked like I was trying to be seductive in the creepiest way possible. FML

#21081466
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47941) - you deserved it (9544)

On 03/08/2014 at 3:53pm - love - by cunning glassist (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mum begged me to let her put fake nails on me to practice for her styling exam. I've been sitting on the toilet for the past half an hour trying to figure out how to wipe without damaging something. FML

Today, I tried to kill a spider by throwing a shoe at it. All it did was slice the spider's egg sac open, releasing all its babies. FML

#21076106
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52374) - you deserved it (13340)

On 03/02/2014 at 5:38pm - animals - by Anonytard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my husband to give our dog a bath while I was at work. When I returned home, I found my dog, along with my husband, in the bath together. FML

#21074688
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40308) - you deserved it (9331)

On 03/01/2014 at 3:23am - animals - by lacy - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML

#21068972
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49562) - you deserved it (5843)

On 02/22/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by dontgothere (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52237) - you deserved it (18512)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)



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