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squiggles1020

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squiggles1020
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3934
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Today, was my birthday. I purposely didn't log onto facebook all day so that I could read all my birthday wishes at once. When I logged on at the end of the day I had one notification. My "friend" had commented on a picture of me, saying I looked like jabba the hut. FML

#1225689
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61112) - you deserved it (6678)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

#1214508
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68631) - you deserved it (3896)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by RockedSystem - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got a call from the Hollister manager yelling at me for not showing up for work that night. I was never informed I got the job. I missed my first day of work. FML

#1214347
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54187) - you deserved it (3883)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, due to the cold, windy weather, I decided to wear my brand-new cute (and expensive) jacket that has a faux-fur hood. As I walked down the street, numerous PETA members attacked me with red liquid. I'm a Vegan and an animal-rights activist. FML

#1200531
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54237) - you deserved it (20351)

On 04/21/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally exchanged pictures with the woman I've been seeing online for some time now. She replied, saying "Thats not funny. Some people actually look like that." I sent my real picture, and thought I actually looked pretty good in it. FML

#1193319
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59928) - you deserved it (5020)

On 04/21/2009 at 2:21pm - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML

#1187831
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58587) - you deserved it (3224)

On 04/21/2009 at 9:13am - love - by 5220 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And i was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML

#1186256
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67595) - you deserved it (3650)

On 04/21/2009 at 4:32am - misc - by anon - United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30740) - you deserved it (75087)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to change out of my bikini for the ride home from the beach. There wasn't a bathroom near, so I went to change in front of a suburban, parked far away from all the people. I took off my suit, hear the car's horn honk, only to find that the car was completely packed with old men. FML

#1141291
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11325) - you deserved it (49790)

On 04/20/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by steph (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
442 comments

I agree, your life sucks (380523) - you deserved it (21567)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was petting my cat when my new mood ring turned bright purple. I checked the piece of paper that came with the ring and saw that purple meant I was feeling "hot, sexy, and passionate." According to my ring, I'm hot for my cat. FML

#1070820
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35657) - you deserved it (12133)

On 04/17/2009 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by shutupandsmile18 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while standing in line at the grocery store, I noticed that myself and the woman in front of me were wearing the same shirt. As she was about to leave, I said to her "Hey! I'm wearing that shirt!" She turned to me and replied, "Not in THIS size you aren't." FML

#1068515
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46261) - you deserved it (8785)

On 04/17/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by woopwoop (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML

#1047922
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12866) - you deserved it (57252)

On 04/17/2009 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, the police posted a description of the car of a child abductor. As everyone slowed down to read the billboard, I realized that the car's description and license plate were very similar to mine. After getting death stares from passengers, I got pulled over. Twice. FML

#1043784
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49824) - you deserved it (1577)

On 04/17/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by eyeamcool (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up to my mom playing the piano awfully. I screamed down the stairs "you suck, stop playing!" Turns out it was my 5 year old cousin playing a recital. For my entire family. FML

#983061
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12425) - you deserved it (63112)

On 04/15/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by christinabear (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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