squiggles1020

Search for a member

squiggles1020

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7668
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

squiggles1020's page activity

Visits<b>melons</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:28am<b>savery08</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:52pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:01am<b>butterflyeyes</b> - the 10/18/2009 at 9:36pm<b>visage</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 5:55pm<b>punknkat</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 1:18am<b>sdawl</b> - the 08/24/2009 at 1:29pm<b>Dale_xD</b> - the 08/22/2009 at 9:48am<b>crackAjack</b> - the 08/04/2009 at 12:50pm<b>ReinaJay</b> - the 07/30/2009 at 7:51pm<b>douche_baggins</b> - the 07/30/2009 at 2:58am<b>bloodthorn</b> - the 07/30/2009 at 1:50am<b>emuhleah92</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 12:43pm<b>arieanacrust</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 11:31pm<b>jmeg</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 9:28am<b>dekz</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 11:23pm<b>ProZilver</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 2:28am

squiggles1020's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

squiggles1020's favorite FMLs

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them I impale my forearm on a knife that's sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML

by hurts / 05/04/2009 at 2:48pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

by Aether / 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, my soccer team got our warm up t-shirts that say "You can hit on us, but you can't score." After the game, a guy behind my friend asks, "Hey what does the front of your shirt say?" I replied for her, "You can hit on us." He looked at me and my friend and said, "No thanks." FML

by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor went through the normal questions, then paused for a moment and jotted something down. Later when I got back my report from the checkup, I noticed that the doctor had checked the "no" box by "sexually active." She didn't even ask me that. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2009 at 8:05pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML

by soooyeah / 04/30/2009 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. I was so excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML

by dasbooot / 04/30/2009 at 12:53am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

by cgold / 04/29/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, at 4 AM, I locked myself out of my apartment. After calling friends in vain, I decided to just sit on the doorstep and wait for someone to come in. I sat for 10 minutes before a homeless man insisted threateningly that I move. I was kicked off my own front doorstep by a homeless man. FML

Today, trying to make my 6 year old daughter to laugh, I drew a picture of a butt, a puff of air coming out and the word "toot". My daughter thought it extremely funny. Later, when she was talking with my extremely judgmental mother-in-law, I heard her say "daddy taught me how to draw butts." FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 6:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, as I was picking up my 7 year old daughter at my ex husband's house my daughter started crying saying that she wanted to stay with daddy forever. I asked why. She said her stepmom was a better mommy. Apparently the woman who broke up my marriage is now a better "mommy". FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 12:13am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML

by unlolable4321 / 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML

by unlolable4321 / 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

by liveforpeace_ / 04/28/2009 at 2:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I woke to find my boyfriend of 2 years gone. I saw my little sister's talking bear at the bottom of my bed, it said "squeeze me" so I squeezed it and it said "it's over." It was my boyfriends voice. I was dumped by a talking bear. FML

by shawty_x / 04/26/2009 at 8:35am / United Kingdom (Hartlepool) / Love