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squiggles1020

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squiggles1020
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4753
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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squiggles1020's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML

#3587785
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63842) - you deserved it (4737)

On 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

#3571839
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39292) - you deserved it (3011)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:02am - kids - by campmom (woman) -

Today, was my wedding day. Right before I walked down the aisle in my gorgeous white dress the woman who did my makeup saw a blemish. She went to squirt concealer on her finger and squirted the orange concealer all over my dress. FML

#3503647
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51965) - you deserved it (2675)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by squirt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, was my wedding day. Right before I walked down the aisle in my gorgeous white dress the woman who did my makeup saw a blemish. She went to squirt concealer on her finger and squirted the orange concealer all over my dress. FML

#3503647
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51965) - you deserved it (2675)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:48pm - love - by squirt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had been planning a family trip for months. My father had all his bags packed, ready to go in the car. He had my grandmother's ashes in his suitcase, and planned to spread them on a mountain. This morning our car was broken into and everything was stolen. The thief stole my grandma. FML

#3468815
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54452) - you deserved it (2746)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by noyodel (woman) - Italy

Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

#3430057
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19657) - you deserved it (46801)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by slightlyslow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was completely wasted at my bachelor party, and my friends thought it would be funny to put sodium nitrate on my penis. Sodium nitrate makes your skin dark purple for a couple of weeks. My wedding is next week and my fiancee has never seen me naked. FML

#3418907
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58781) - you deserved it (16909)

On 07/02/2009 at 2:32am - intimacy - by purpledick (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

#3333969
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43164) - you deserved it (10847)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML

#3028813
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39258) - you deserved it (2903)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

#2991073
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12301) - you deserved it (54196)

On 06/18/2009 at 9:32am - misc - by OompaLoompa (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML

#2975022
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49322) - you deserved it (4180)

On 06/17/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by automaticfail_00 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML

#2960234
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34667) - you deserved it (2319)

On 06/17/2009 at 3:12am - intimacy - by creepedouthostess (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife took herself, the kids, and extended family members I've never even heard of to New York. She paid the 7,000$ bill with my credit card. FML

#2959965
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36855) - you deserved it (3198)

On 06/17/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by rileym797 - United States (Florida)

Today, I was reading a book lying in my bed. I looked outside my window not to see the beautiful weather, but to see my creepy 70 year old neighbor staring at me with giant binaculars, then winks at me. I babysit his grandchildren this weekend, at his house. FML

#2959400
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33627) - you deserved it (1492)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:56am - misc - by Siehidbkdnd (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was reading a book lying in my bed. I looked outside my window not to see the beautiful weather, but to see my creepy 70 year old neighbor staring at me with giant binaculars, then winks at me. I babysit his grandchildren this weekend, at his house. FML

#2959400
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33627) - you deserved it (1492)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:56am - misc - by Siehidbkdnd (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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