squiggles1020

Search for a member

squiggles1020

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7994
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

squiggles1020's page activity

Visits<b>melons</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:28am<b>savery08</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:52pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 2:01am<b>butterflyeyes</b> - the 10/18/2009 at 9:36pm<b>visage</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 5:55pm<b>punknkat</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 1:18am<b>sdawl</b> - the 08/24/2009 at 1:29pm<b>Dale_xD</b> - the 08/22/2009 at 9:48am<b>crackAjack</b> - the 08/04/2009 at 12:50pm<b>ReinaJay</b> - the 07/30/2009 at 7:51pm<b>douche_baggins</b> - the 07/30/2009 at 2:58am<b>bloodthorn</b> - the 07/30/2009 at 1:50am<b>emuhleah92</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 12:43pm<b>arieanacrust</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 11:31pm<b>jmeg</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 9:28am<b>dekz</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 11:23pm<b>ProZilver</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 2:28am

squiggles1020's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

squiggles1020's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

by campmom / 07/08/2009 at 1:02am / Kids

Today, was my wedding day. Right before I walked down the aisle in my gorgeous white dress the woman who did my makeup saw a blemish. She went to squirt concealer on her finger and squirted the orange concealer all over my dress. FML

by squirt / 07/05/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, was my wedding day. Right before I walked down the aisle in my gorgeous white dress the woman who did my makeup saw a blemish. She went to squirt concealer on her finger and squirted the orange concealer all over my dress. FML

by squirt / 07/05/2009 at 12:48pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I had been planning a family trip for months. My father had all his bags packed, ready to go in the car. He had my grandmother's ashes in his suitcase, and planned to spread them on a mountain. This morning our car was broken into and everything was stolen. The thief stole my grandma. FML

by noyodel / 07/04/2009 at 12:04am / Italy / Transportation

Today, while watching The Many Adventures of Winnie-the-Pooh with my 5 year old, I realized why the kangaroo's name is Kanga, and why her son's name is Roo. Kanga-Roo. Get it? Yeah. I didn't until today. I'm 47. FML

by slightlyslow / 07/02/2009 at 4:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML

by merkris / 06/29/2009 at 11:41am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to work and saw three guys sitting at a table outside. One of the guys looks at me and says to his friends, "That's the girl that works at the grocery store. She replaced the hot chick." The other two guys glared at me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2009 at 12:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to use fake tan, seeing as I am so pale. Everywhere I have been today, I have had children behind me. Singing the Oompa Loompa song. FML

by OompaLoompa / 06/18/2009 at 9:32am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML

by automaticfail_00 / 06/17/2009 at 7:27pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML

by creepedouthostess / 06/17/2009 at 3:12am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my wife took herself, the kids, and extended family members I've never even heard of to New York. She paid the 7,000$ bill with my credit card. FML

by rileym797 / 06/17/2009 at 2:00am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom had one too many and announced to all of my friends that, if she had the opportunity, she would bang Gwen Stefani. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2009 at 12:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod and leaves. FML

by Tim / 06/16/2009 at 2:15am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML

by Aerostar / 06/16/2009 at 12:35am / United States (Indiana) / Love