Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

squiggles1020

Search for a member

squiggles1020

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5056
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

squiggles1020's page activity

Visits<b>savery08</b> - the 01/15/2014 at 11:14pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:52pm<b>butterflyeyes</b> - the 10/18/2009 at 9:36pm<b>visage</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 5:55pm<b>punknkat</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 1:18am<b>sdawl</b> - the 08/24/2009 at 1:29pm<b>Dale_xD</b> - the 08/22/2009 at 9:48am<b>crackAjack</b> - the 08/04/2009 at 12:50pm<b>ReinaJay</b> - the 07/30/2009 at 7:51pm<b>douche_baggins</b> - the 07/30/2009 at 2:58am<b>bloodthorn</b> - the 07/30/2009 at 1:50am<b>emuhleah92</b> - the 07/15/2009 at 12:43pm<b>arieanacrust</b> - the 06/03/2009 at 11:31pm<b>jmeg</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 9:28am<b>dekz</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 11:23pm<b>ProZilver</b> - the 05/25/2009 at 2:28am<b>fatfaceunited</b> - the 05/24/2009 at 8:43pm<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 05/23/2009 at 4:43pm

squiggles1020's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

squiggles1020's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML

#4508324
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85842) - you deserved it (2871)

On 08/13/2009 at 7:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

#4499935
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7446) - you deserved it (57972)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by soapgirl (woman) - Philippines (Pampanga)

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97419) - you deserved it (4786)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML

#4486417
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38750) - you deserved it (3840)

On 08/12/2009 at 9:47pm - work - by Jobless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got stung by a bee. On my eyelid. I'm allergic so it's swollen up so much, I can't even open my eye. Tomorrow is the first day of a new prestigious school. I either have to go to school wearing an eye-patch or walk around looking like a monster. FML

#4478482
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42659) - you deserved it (2849)

On 08/12/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Kobenhavn)

Today, my cousin came over. I left my iPod on shuffle in the room we were in as I left to go to the bathroom. When I came back she was jamming out to "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon. She won't stop singing it and her mom is coming over to pick her up in an hour. She's 4. FML

#4463161
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14054) - you deserved it (41707)

On 08/11/2009 at 11:34pm - kids - by SomeDJ (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. An SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing, lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML

#4459199
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61739) - you deserved it (2541)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm - work - by doctorchick (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gathered both mine and my girlfriend's families secretly to a restaurant. I paid the restaurant to play romantic music, and paid for the best table available. As soon as we finished our meal, our families gathered around and I proposed. She laughed and said no way. FML

#4405336
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94341) - you deserved it (7809)

On 08/09/2009 at 9:48am - love - by gtrs750 (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

#4196773
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55024) - you deserved it (2939)

On 08/01/2009 at 12:32am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

#4157203
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38230) - you deserved it (3861)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML

#4157203
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38230) - you deserved it (3861)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:56am - kids - by Rae (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I told my 8 year old daughter that she looks a lot like mommy. Now she won't come out of her room because she thinks she is ugly. FML

#4055468
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48595) - you deserved it (5671)

On 07/26/2009 at 2:58pm - kids - by loserwithlice (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML

#4000566
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40171) - you deserved it (4162)

On 07/24/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met with an important client to talk about his stake in the company. The guy was at least 80 years old. After taking care of business we spoke about my final year at the company. As he got up to leave he said "Good luck in your final year". Without thinking, I replied "You too". FML

#3899381
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32609) - you deserved it (13941)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:13am - work - by moutz (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, to get back at me for breaking up with him, my ex-boyfriend thought it would be really funny to post semi nude pictures of me on Craigslist. To top it off, he decided to give all 200+ people who responded to my ad my home phone number. I'm getting non-stop calls from horny freaks. FML

#3832351
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51049) - you deserved it (18845)

On 07/17/2009 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: