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squid93

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squid93
  • Town/Country : Norfolk, VA, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 December 1974 (39 years)
  • Number of visits : 762
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About squid93 : Just an average guy, reading FML!

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Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML

#8894345
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29316) - you deserved it (2627)

On 03/07/2010 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by woopdeedo_1 (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

#6646693
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18310) - you deserved it (3304)

On 12/07/2009 at 4:30am - intimacy - by roxyriley - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML

#5973387
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38273) - you deserved it (7832)

On 10/24/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by meg265 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on a date with a guy having a great time. I went up to go to the ladies' room, but as I walked back to the table, I heard some giggles. I looked and found out why. My skirt was tucked into my underwear. I was wearing my lucky Star Wars-themed panties. FML

#5622961
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27436) - you deserved it (10817)

On 10/03/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by diva467 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

#4275637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40683) - you deserved it (17973)

On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML

#3669971
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53117) - you deserved it (8191)

On 07/11/2009 at 4:11pm - health - by waxinghorror (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was about to go and take a shower when I saw a pair of scissors taped to the door at eye level with a note from my boyfriend saying "Time to trim that hairy thang down under." FML

#2797369
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29644) - you deserved it (49267)

On 06/11/2009 at 9:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

#2734034
459 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47988) - you deserved it (60066)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was running a cute guy was coming towards me. As he was passing me, he yelled "nice tush!" I said thanks and slapped my ass flirtatiously. He stopped running, laughed and pointed to my crotch, replying "No, I said nice BUSH" I looked down to see my shorts had rode up a bit too high. FML

#1701817
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17632) - you deserved it (61037)

On 05/06/2009 at 8:20pm - misc - by schmoodles - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, he looked at me and said "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

#432766
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36804) - you deserved it (83147)

On 03/18/2009 at 1:22am - intimacy - by myennechee (woman) - Germany (Hamburg)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML

#412334
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58977) - you deserved it (20206)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by ThePopeMan (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around. I was sitting up on my bed when he reached down near my privates and said, "Wow babe, did you shave today? It's so soft..." He was actually touching my bottom roll above my vagina which delightfully formed a crease. FML

#139235
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50947) - you deserved it (19568)

On 02/25/2009 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by sopathetic (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I finally hooked up with a boy I really liked. We were lying in bed and my panties were already off when he asked me : "Would you also have sex with me if you weren't drunk?". I responded "Yes!" and asked him the same question, at which he responded : "No, probably not." FML

#61161
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53215) - you deserved it (10510)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Dannylover (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

#3221
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23301) - you deserved it (2363)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)



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