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squarecircles's favorite FMLs
by ew / 09/15/2015 at 12:33pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by betterthanhodor / 06/03/2015 at 11:46am / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2015 at 11:12am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML
by wtf bro / 05/20/2015 at 4:45am / Australia (Australian Capital Territory) / Intimacy
by BananaCoconutty / 05/16/2015 at 12:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML
by HiddlePuff / 05/14/2015 at 8:42am / Australia / Work
Today, I managed to get my 4-year-old son to agree that, "cigarettes are poop." I was a lot less proud of myself when he pointed at a 6-foot bodybuilder-type dude in the subway and yelled, "That man smells of pooooooop." FML
by Insanity / 04/09/2015 at 1:28am / France (Centre) / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML
by S to the HIT / 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/29/2015 at 11:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML
by Anonyme / 03/27/2015 at 5:50am / France (Bretagne) / Love
by nerderer / 03/15/2015 at 10:57am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by frediqqq / 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…