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sportyspices

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sportyspices

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  • Number of visits : 178
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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sportyspices's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML

#14790156
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47535) - you deserved it (8096)

On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML

#14737614
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56986) - you deserved it (6755)

On 01/27/2011 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by JordanVilleneuve (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was released from jail. I had helped a three year old girl get up after falling on a wet floor at the mall last night when the security guards tasered me. Only this morning did they tell me they had mistaken me for a child molester that looks a little bit like me. FML

#14710569
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41548) - you deserved it (3099)

On 01/25/2011 at 4:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML

#14698486
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28922) - you deserved it (4225)

On 01/24/2011 at 2:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML

#14677100
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35635) - you deserved it (13143)

On 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

#14208916
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37179) - you deserved it (3795)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML

#14048087
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31174) - you deserved it (4577)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58024) - you deserved it (10575)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

#14007811
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16473) - you deserved it (38841)

On 11/28/2010 at 2:10am - intimacy - by apavies444 - United States

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33115) - you deserved it (7580)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

#13634114
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29635) - you deserved it (6686)

On 10/29/2010 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Taylor parsons - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML

#13311710
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52520) - you deserved it (5582)

On 10/04/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44768) - you deserved it (4839)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I put an anonymous note under my neighbour's door asking them to not have sex so loudly during the day. Since then, I haven't heard any sex. Unfortunately, I have heard a woman crying loudly because she just found out about her husband's affair. FML

#13157318
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44271) - you deserved it (9757)

On 09/22/2010 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

#13152326
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30672) - you deserved it (12589)

On 09/22/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by noname - Canada (Quebec)



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