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spontaneousxlove

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spontaneousxlove

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 302
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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spontaneousxlove's page activity

Visits<b>JERZBornNRaised</b> - the 09/20/2011 at 12:27am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:13pm<b>erpaderp</b> - the 09/06/2011 at 10:04pm<b>sourgirl101</b> - the 08/31/2011 at 6:10am<b>SteveD92</b> - the 08/29/2011 at 6:31pm<b>TheMadScientist</b> - the 07/18/2011 at 3:18pm

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Consolation prize

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spontaneousxlove's favorite FMLs

Today, I brought my date home to meet my parents. We walked in the front door to find my drunken father wearing nothing but a Viking helmet, and swinging and jabbing our living room furniture with a pool noodle. FML

#17711935
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27503) - you deserved it (2684)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by Hailey Antone - United States

Today, I received an email from my boyfriend. It contained a link to a site that was titled "How to Give Head". It also said "Have a nice day!" FML

#17688076
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25176) - you deserved it (6905)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by thismakesmesad (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

#17649576
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35724) - you deserved it (3388)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:48am - love - by CHStennis_4 - United States (Utah)

Today, I went to a movie and a dinner with a girl. During dinner, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, so I checked my social media feeds while waiting for her to return. She'd posted on her twitter "Worst. Ever." I thought it was going well. FML

#17622359
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27058) - you deserved it (2533)

On 08/30/2011 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML

#17606800
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12544) - you deserved it (42924)

On 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37329) - you deserved it (3280)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, I bought a Halloween costume for my cat. FML

#17544670
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8621) - you deserved it (37406)

On 08/22/2011 at 2:04am - animals - by vishuzzbabe77 - United States

Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML

#17513277
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (9973)

On 08/18/2011 at 8:59pm - health - by kaitylait (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my girlfriend got a necklace from one of her guy friends. She loves it. It's a heart shaped necklace. She doesn't see a problem. FML

#17496847
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38991) - you deserved it (6181)

On 08/17/2011 at 2:19am - love - by CashChamp20 - United States

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

#17455521
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38068) - you deserved it (14341)

On 08/13/2011 at 12:06am - love - by sydneybourgeois - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

#17404409
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52490) - you deserved it (3502)

On 08/08/2011 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while zooming down the interstate, I had to tell my husband to put his penis away. FML

#17400006
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26662) - you deserved it (6055)

On 08/07/2011 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Wife - United States

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
446 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41127) - you deserved it (5963)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML

#17378554
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14246) - you deserved it (40655)

On 08/05/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51203) - you deserved it (9840)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)



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